Hello, So after the Easter break at school we are doing a lot about policies. In the news lately there is a lot about transgender and the teacher's have gone on a lot of training about this so since we're doing stuff related to this in our lesson we're going to be talking about it. The class already knows about non-binary gender and even though don't quite understand it, they are trying to and accepting it. So that's not a problem. Thing is though, I've only got around four months of school left until I never have to see it again and therefore don't want to come out with that short time until leaving. So since I've been talking a lot about a/gender and sexuality lately I've had the increase in want to just tell people ''I'm bisexual'' which isn't something I actually want to do [not scared, they're accepting] as I don't see the point. And even though I know they're accepting of others, when it comes to someone they know I'm not sure how they'd react to me saying ''I'm agender''. Anyway, so I've been trying my best to not say anything, but anytime I come close to mentioning anything regarding sexuality or a/gender my mannerism's change. I start getting a bit hot and the pauses in my sentences are in places I wouldn't normally. I also start to play with my hands/pen a lot more. That's what I do when I'm nervous, so they might know something, especially since I asked ''was there any homophobic bullying around 7 years ago in school?'' which was when I started the school. I wanted to know if things had changed or had it always been like that and I wanted to know what might have happened to me if I knew what ''straight'' was back then [because I would have said ''no'']. My mannerisms certainly changed so it's enough for them to guess. Okay, so I guess if they asked me ''are you bisexual?'' I'd probably just say ''yes'' and move on from the conversation because [to me] that draws less ''coming out'' then saying ''no'' and then them finding out later it was a ''yes''. The thing is, my sexuality doesn't affect them at all. I'm not sure what they're sexuality is, but I don't like any of the people in my class anyway. However, my gender identity, or rather lack of, does affect them. I'm keeping my name so that's okay but it would require the people in my class to use pronouns they've never used on me, and that might be difficult for them. I'd rather get through these four months them knowing nothing, then me trying to get them to see me for what I really am and then them failing. Anyway, so what I'd really need help with is trying to keep my mannerisms the same as normal or change the way I'm speaking so it doesn't come off like I'm talking about a group I'm in. I know it's silly because I usually don't care, but I just think this is bad timing and everything. Thank-you if you've read all that.
