A while ago, I was completely ready to come out. Mostly everyone around me was supportive and that made me feel better. So, I decided to tell my mom. She was supportive of me At the time, it felt really good. But, the next day, I immediately regretted it. I wish I didn't tell her. Something kind of like this happened last year too. I came out as bi to my friend and I hated that I told her. It feels like I'll never be ready to come out.I'm tired of lying, but at the same time, I don't want anyone to know yet. Any advice?
You've told you're mum so that's done but if you're not ready to tell anyone else then don't. There's no pressure, do it when it feels right.
I understand where you are coming from. I have had this same problem too where you border on hating people knowing and living a double life that you inherently know will destroy you. I have learned that my issue with coming out stems from a strong desire to control a situation and how people perceive me. I am very afraid of feeling vulnerable. Personally, I like to practice a lot of visualization maybe try wearing a rainbow bracelet and act as if it is a visible part of yourself in which you can't change and everyone can see (like your hair) it is nothing to be ashamed of and if anything fake it till you make it. coming out and being out are two different things and if you can be comfortable "being out" then coming out won't be that difficult either
There is no rush. You've done well just to have told a few people There is no rule saying once you have told a couple of people you have to tell everyone else. Just take your time and do it when you are ready
I don't really know. After I came out, I just felt really scared and panicky. Maybe I was afraid she was going to tell someone, but I just really wish I didn't come out yet.
There's nothing wrong with taking things slowly-- and you shouldn't feel as if you HAVE to come out to anyone until you're ready. Your only obligation is to yourself, and if you need to take some time and make sure you're completely comfortable with coming out, do it. And you should be proud of the fact that you were brave enough to come out to your mother, and happy that she supports you-- maybe you could even go to her with some of your concerns, if you're comfortable doing that, and see what she thinks? But no matter what, stay true to yourself, and if after reading all these responses you're still anxious about the thought of coming out, there's no pressure to do it immediately. Take your time, and above all, do what makes you happy! Good luck!
The hardest part, in my opinion, is coming out to yourself. As far as telling other people, that's a lifelong process that never fully ends. It's OK to take your time with that.
It is human nature to fear the unknown. You get anxiety from not knowing how coming out to someone will affect your relationship with them in the future (even if they are accepting at that point) as well as if they end up telling anyone else. I know that I have experienced this as well, but it gets better as you come out to more people. As you become open about your sexuality to more and more people, it becomes less stressful as you don't have to worry about the word spreading to those close to you because they already know.Try not to worry about it... Congratulations on making your way to a happier life by not hiding that part of you from those you care about. (&&&)
Felt much the same way last year. The best part is that you're in control here. The catalyst for me coming out publicly was totally rooted in wanting to be completely authentic. I teach private lessons, and sometimes I have to help my students address their personal problems to get them to improve. At some point, I decided that in order to be the best teacher I could be, I had to be authentic with them. First, I recommend that you start or continue focusing on you. Ask yourself what you have to gain or lose by coming out to specific people. Try not to dwell in possibilities, but what is known. In the case of my students, I built accessibility and trust by coming out. Sure I lost a couple students (I'm in KY after all), but the students that did stay have improved a lot and are better human beings because of our lessons. At this moment, I'd like to recommend reading A Man's Search for Meaning. I'm using it to help myself navigate unemployment, but I think it may help you navigate coming out. It's the story/reflection of psychiatrist Viktor E. Frankl, a Jewish man who suffered and survived the Holocaust. He details his experience at Auschwitz. His work, logotherapy, states that even in the worst of suffering, when we are stripped of absolutely everything, we still have the freedom to react to our suffering in anyway that we choose. Find meaning in your coming out, and it will likely become easier for you to do it. Be kind to yourself.
