I am 32 yrs old and realized I lost one of my truest loves of my life, and he was my best-friend. For the longest time I have had anger problems and I know it has to do with me not being honest with myself, my wife, and/or my children. My whole life I always thought that having these feelings meant something is wrong with me, just now I am starting to accept them for what they are LOVE. This is the first time I have been honest with my feelings I like men and women both sexually and as friends. I always thought that if you only had feelings for certain type of people it didn't mean you were bi or/ gay. My story starts like most I was never accepted fully by my peers and/or my family, and always had feelings which they told me was just confusion. I now realize that I am not confused, there was this man that I use to hang out with almost daily. We never fooled around but after being away from him for almost 2 months I realize if he wanted to fool around I would have with him and other friends who I felt dearly about. I also have come to the realization that I enjoy dressing as a women and am a dam sexy one. Honestly, I am so confused at the moment about what to do, do I be honest with my family about who I truly am, or do I continue hiding who I am for the sake of my children and wife. Honestly I wish people were more accepting of people like me when I was growing up, maybe I would not have the problem I am having today. All and any advice welcomed, thank you.
Fires of all you are the same person you always were, you just in the process of finding out more about yourself. It might help to talk to a good therapist (a gay friendly one). A good therapist will be non directive but will help you explore your emotions. Finding one that you feel comfortable with is very important. I would also recommend going to a group for gay married men. I attend such a group and find it helpful. Some of the guys there are attending because they are trying to figure out their sexuality. So you could people in exactly the same position as you.
