So I just came out to my friend about two minutes ago over text. We go to different schools, so it was my only option. Anyway, he was super accepting about it, but coming out always makes me feel so raw and ashamed of being gay. Like I've come to terms that I'm gay, but coming out really is like a slap in the face to me. I know I'm gay and I love that about me but it's really hard to describe. I'm sorry for all the rambling, I'm just super emotional. Anyway, does this feeling when you come out ever go away? It's only my second time but it still makes it so much harder to remembering the emotions that come with coming out.
Congratulations! I remember when I told my best friend, Kaitlyn, that I was beginning a MTF transition. She was also accepting and supportive, but it was a bit weird that she is straight and cisgender. (So, yes, I know what you mean by the "slap in the face feeling".) It is nice, though, to relieve yourself of some of the pressure and have a few trustworthy friends to know about your being gay in the early stages. Eventually, you and I (and everyone else) will have to come out to more people. You don't need to have everyone know, though, unless you're transgender, so it is a good thing for you that it's easier to come out as gay than it is to come out as transgender. You're magically happy now that you've told your friend, right?
I can totally understand you. Coming out in the meaning of telling people about my sexual orientation without them having asked seems to me as if I had to apologize for anything or to justify myself. And that's exactly why I don't do that. I would feel very weird and awkward doing this.
Yeah, it was a pretty weird experience because I was just like okay "I have something to tell you I'm gay" out of the blue.
It all depends on your own approach in the future. The first people you tell are usually those closest to you and so there is a bag of mixed emotions involved. With these people you will feel that you have more to loose than with someone that you just met. Once you have 'come out' to everyone you already know, you won't ever really have to do it again if you manage new relationships successfully. What I mean by that is that unless you allow the new people you meet to believe that you are straight, it won't ever be a big issue. For example it's much easier to politely correct someone when they ask if you have a girlfriend or ask if you find a female friend attractive. Remember not to be apologetic for your sexuality. You said that you love being gay (me too) and so I hope that you told your friend that when you came out. Hopefully that makes sense and gives you some reassurance, if not then let me know.
