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Tried to tell my mom

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DexterMorgan, Feb 17, 2009.

  1. DexterMorgan

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    I tried to tell my mom I was gay today. She texted me that she was gonna be working over time. And I said "I needed to tell you something though.". She called a few hours later and asked me what I wanted to tell her. I said "I'll tell you later," and she kept arguing for me to tell her over the phone.

    She came home and went straight to my room. She asked me if I did something bad at school, or did something good. I said I did something good (I guess?). She kept pressuring me to tell her, and I freaked out. And I finally said "I'll tell you later, okay!", and she just said "Fine." and walked out of my room.

    This is harder than I thought.:icon_sad:
     
  2. Bryan44

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    Thats ok, dont feel pressured!! Take your time
     
  3. Shevanel

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    aww it'll be ok dude, it is hard. you'll find the courage though. I totally know how you feel, like you say "Yes! i'm finally ready to tell them!" and then right before you try to, u freak out. i feel the same exact way. Don't worry though, we support you!
     
  4. TEres321

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    youll be fine! Just make sure to take it slow, and make sure you have friends to fall back on if need be :slight_smile:
    good luck!
     
  5. Mirko

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    Hi there! As the others have said, that totally okay. Take a few days, and when you feel ready, try again. Maybe wait for a good opportunity, i.e. when you are alone with your mum and you know you can have her full attention, or you know she is not busy or preoccupied with other things at the time when you do want to tell her.

    What might help, try writing your thoughts out. Sometimes organizing thoughts and knowing what we want to say can help. Give it a try. If you find it too hard to talk to her in person, you could also write her a letter and give it to her.

    But don't be too hard on yourself. You have tried it! It counts for a lot!
     
  6. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    Uh, yeah when you call your mom and talk like that you'll definitely worry them. I think she was waiting to hear you got in a fight or trouble or something and you stressed her a little. Might try not pressurign her and have her come to you another time. Lol
     
  7. jangel

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    hi, It sounds like even though your mom is busy she was at least intersted and remembered you had something to say and set aside the time..that is a step in the right direction. maybe your aunt could be with you when you tell her. Also if you are afraid it may not go well maybe you can have a plan with you aunt just in case...maybe a ride...or a place to stay. She may already know (as with my dad I thought I was being so secretive LOL) but better safe than sorry. Good luck sweetie take your time and BE SAFE !
     
  8. azrae1

    azrae1 Guest

    Omg just reading the way how it went ;; i got freaked out too >_>; lol
    ..sorry for that laught but i support you and i understand what u mean..
    my advice would be ... tell her when you reach 18 as you will be more of accepting your self and independant and have more courage to say,, so right now take your time and if you had a good chance and she is in good mood tell her.. but b4 telling her tell her please don't freak out. tell her how you feel and how it causes so much pressure on you..she will surely open up ^^
     
  9. Mitchell

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    It can be tough.

    If it's causing you stress... Have you ever called anyplace like the Trevor Project? They are very, very kind people that will talk to you. I once talked to them about just the most random stuff for about an hour one afternoon when I was alone and feeling down. I'm sure you could talk with one of their counselors about how to do this, if you need to talk to someone in the moment. Some have told me they called when they were having stress related to coming out and just wanted to talk to someone on the phone openly about sexuality, and they do a pretty good job at that.

    I'd guess I'd say not to scare your mother, but make sure everything is right to tell her. I don't know if there is a perfect time to tell someone, although someone else would probably have a better answer to timing. Maybe when you're out doing fun stuff with her, or something?
     
  10. NoLeafClover

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    It is tough. I remember the moments before I blurted it out I was thinking "It's now or never" and then I jumped and both my parents caught me at the same time, after waiting a second to realize I had just taken such a leap and needed help :confused:
     
  11. DexterMorgan

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    Thanks Mitchell.:slight_smile:

    I Google'd The Trevor Project, and I will be giving them a call within a few days. I've already told my brother, my aunt, and everyone at school, I just don't understand why it's so hard to tell my own mother.
     
    #11 DexterMorgan, Feb 20, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2009
  12. LostInNJ

    LostInNJ Guest

    Hey, I have to admit if I was in your shoes, I would have done the same thing if my mom forced me like that. And I know how mothers are. If I said I had something to say to mine, she wouldn't rest till I said it. And with how wild us kids were growing up in my family, when I said 'hey mom can I tell you something? she's like 'were you arrested, did you get a detention, did you break a bone, where's your brother, did you leave him somewhere?' Lol. Granted we grew up since then, moms always want to be in the know. So if you say you have something to tell them, they will make sure to talk. Sometimes too much so in this case. The same line doesn't seem to work the same with friends lol.

    As far as coming out to them, you'll know when the time is right. I'm not out to mine yet. But always thinking how and when I could do it. Hang in there.