really bad day

I am sorry you are feeling this way.(*hug*) Can you maybe write your friend the psychologist a letter? If he has his own practice, set an appointment with him so it will be a professional setting. Also what ever you say he can not tell anyone, doctor patient privilege. He may have some insight on your depression and may be able to help you work through it. Good Luck!

 

How fortunate indeed that he is a psychologist. Its okay, it happens. I would try coming out to him at the very least. He HAS to keep your secret and if all else fails--black mail him. LOL So, take advantage of at least his patient confidentiality. He's a psychologist, he can help. Go for it! Sit there in the same room for an hour if you have to, sum up your courage. Start by saying something like, "I feel sick today." He'll reply, "Why?" And then pop it on him.

 

Yeah, it sounds like your depression is really low at the moment and you're in a lot of pain. I know how you are feeling, believe me, because I've suffered depression, anxiety, and paranoia on and off for most of my adult life. I know how it really sucks! I also totally understand how you can't cope with personal messages at the moment, I've really been there too.

Firstly, stop apologising for how you are feeling! I mean it! You are not to blame and you did not choose to feel how you do.

Secondly, do whatever you have to do to start talking to someone about how you are feeling - the whole truth and no exceptions. Don't adapt or soften it to be kind or something, you will only get the understanding you need if you 'tell it like it is'. You would appear to have a real opportunity for this with your friend; but if you think it would be easier if it was someone different perhaps who you don't know as well, then do that - but make sure you do.

Please accept some reassurance from me that you can and you will feel better, but you need to 'unload' bigtime. I think you have a whole load of issues, that we most of us here all have too, that you need to be able to express and explore; and they are currently seriously getting you down. You need to ask yourself: "What's hardest: taking the first step and talking to someone about how I'm feeling; or continuing to struggle and carry on feeling like this for I don't know how long?" There's no contest really, is there? You can get past this, and you can take that first step. Good luck!

Take really good care and lots of love, Kayar. X

 

Hey, dude Im really sorry that you feel like this, I know it sucks alot. And I also know that the obvious answer would be to tell someone, but sometimes its just not that simple as people make it out to be.Leading up until a two nights ago I felt like I was suffocating myself holding all this in. I am still not ready to come out to anyone else for awhile, but telling my sister helped. I feel now that someone knows, I can finally start to breathe again, you know? I understand that it is hard to just come out and say "i like guys," and I cant tell you why. But I know I still have trouble looking in the mirror and admitting it. Just take it day by day man. Everyday that you take a step forward now..like waking up and telling yourself that your gay/bi, and really trying to accept it on your own first, all these mental, and personal battles, will help you win the war in the long run. Dude just dont feel rushed, and dont let this eat you up inside. You have so many peope here who care, and are willing to talk to you. I hope that today is a better day for you. Sorry if this doesnt help

 

I think I told you the analogy about waiting to get a test back from a teacher, or test results back from your doctor. Well, if the test results keep getting pushed back, the stress keeps mounting. And now you're at the breaking point.

And honestly, this is what "coming out" is all about. It's not a political statement, or a chance to jump on a soapbox, or an excuse to have a party. (Although it can be all that, too.) It's simply something to get beyond. It's a way to get past all the anxieties and fears about what people will think, what being "out" will mean, and how people will view us from here on out. No, your life won't become problem-free once you come out. But you can get past all that "does he know?" bullshit, all the "I hope he doesn't find out" bullshit, and the "can I say this?" bullshit.

In short, you can have your life back.

Your psychologist friend is probably a good resource. If you can't tell him, why not simply forward the e-mail you sent your other friend? You can make minor changes if you think it's necessary, but it'll give him the idea, and once the elephant has been pointed out, you can talk about it a lot easier.

Lex

 

You would know better than us if an email will piss him off. Either way, coming out to him is brave and now cowardly, no matter how it's done.

And one thing that helped me was mentioning it in advance. You could try emailing to tell him when you hung out last night if you seemed weird there was something you wanted to get off your chest but didn't end up doing it. That you wanna have a word next time you see him in person. Kinda prevents you from being able to back out of it too, lol.

 

hmmm. well mayb write it out. write what u wanna say to him. then go up to him. try and say it. but if u cant give him the letter and stay there while he reads it. nd im so sorry u hurt! i hope u feel better. i kno some ppl tat were extremely depressed bcuz they werent out of the closet, not only to the world but to themselves. they knew what they were but they didnt except it nd they denied themselves nd it torn them in two. im not exactly saying tats whats happening to u. im just giving examples. nd if hez ur best friend then im sure he love u for who YOU are and not ur sexuality. nd dont be sorry for not being all spunky nd energetic. its not YOUR fault. dont blame urself tat just maks things worse. so i hope u feel better!! XD

 

Im. So. Proud. (!)

Your first coming out! Thats SO amazing and such a huge step From what you have said about him, hes going to be there for you the entire way. Building a support team makes every additional coming out much easier. If your message was from the heart, then its perfect. You cannot do anything better than give a heart-felt message.

Again, so proud (*hug*) keep us updated on how he re-acts!

 

It will be ok! If you always expect the worst when coming out, it will never be as bad as you thought. The most important thing is that it's from the heart and it will all be ok!

 

Haha stay positive. It feels good to get it out there sometimes regardless of the response you get. (&&&)

 

Congrats! You took a big step. You should give yourself credit.

 

>>>i just feel an email would piss him off, that and i dont know what the hell i think anymore

He may not specialize in this form of psychological behavior, but he didn't get to where he is today without studying human behavior in general. And - forgive me for saying so, but anyone in his field who would put his own personal feelings over those of his friend who's in a buttload of pain ("I'm hurt that you couldn't tell me in person") is in the wrong field. I have a feeling he'll be quite supportive, even if he may have some questions.

Lex

 

u did it! good job. im sure your friend will take it well. if he likes u enough to make u his best man and the godfather of his child, i dont think hell up and turn on u so easily. even as the kind of psychologist he is, im sure he must have a certain understanding about the subject. dont worry about it too much.

 

hey man, congratulations, you've just taken a massive step into your new life of confidence and happiness with who you are. if he is your best friend, he will reafirm that it doesn't matter. after all, he is friends with your for the person that you are, not because he thought your were straight. congratulations.

 

Congrats! I'm sure he'll take the news well.

And I wouldn't worry about bringing the "positive gay message". If it's from the heart it will invariably be better.

 

i wanna know what he said!

 

Hey, glad to hear you sent the email. I hope it turns out well for you. It will be such a relief when you have someone to talk to. I chickened out last night telling my one friend. And its been about 2 days since I've slept. But after I chickened out, I called my one friend who I did come out to, and told him how upset I was. It was nice to at least have him to talk to. So you will now have a good friend to confide in also. The only other thing I notice, is they may accept everything and be comfy with it, but they might not empathize completely. But that's where I find this forum my place to go for that too.

Glad you sent the email. Congrats. Let us know how you make out.