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Forced back into the closet when I went off to high school?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by britishatheart, Mar 23, 2016.

  1. britishatheart

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    Basically what the title says. So I realized I was bisexual when I was in the 8th grade (last year-- I'm such a young'un haha), and slowly I came out to all my friends, because we had all known each other since like kindergarten (with a few exceptions). I felt they deserved to know, and they were all really accepting, even my boyfriend.

    But now I have a problem. This year was/is my first year in high school and I REALLY like my new school-- plus I've made a lot of new friends, which to be honest I wasn't expecting. All me and my old friends have kind of dispersed and now in my friend group it's just me, my boyfriend (who I'm out to) and all these new people. And they're great-- but I'm not sure how to/whether I even should tell them I'm bi. I hate having been forced back into the closet like this, and I want to come out to them, but I'm not sure how they'll react-- especially this one girl who I play-flirt with a lot (she's straight and thinks I am too), and I MIGHT just find her attractive (not that I would ever do anything about it, though). I don't want things to suddenly become weird between me and this girl, or any of my friends. What should I do?
     
  2. guitar

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    I guess this is really up to you, it seems like you've thought about it a lot. Seeing as you're dating a boy right now, and he knows you're bi, I suppose the pressure probably wouldn't be as great to come out. How do you find your school to be toward LGBT people?

    I know the times have changed since I was in highschool (LGBT people and issues are a lot more accepted and have a lot more visibility in the media and in society in general thanks to social media), but kids will still be kids. Being bisexual *could* make you the potential target for bullying, even if schools have the best anti-bullying practices in place. There isn't always going to be a teacher around. How do you find the general culture around your school to be toward LGBT people? Does there seem to be latent homophobia, or are most kids pretty accepting? Are there any out gay/bi people in your school? Do you feel they're accepted?

    And lastly, while your friend could be completely accepting of you telling her you're bi, it could bother her also. That sort of information can change the nature of a friendship. I have a male friend with whom I'm close and we were always touchy-feely without ever being inappropriate. But since coming out to him as gay, that aspect of our friendship is gone.

    Best of luck with whatever you decide to do. Ultimately, whether you're closeted to your new group of friends of not, it doesn't change who you are as a person, and it's not like you haven't come out to anyone :slight_smile:

    Hopefully some of this helps you to weigh your options :slight_smile:
     
  3. britishatheart

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    Thank you for the advice. My school has a pretty good LGBT tolerance-- we have an LGBT alliance club (that unfortunately I can't attend because I have my volunteer job that day-- grr), and there are a lot of gay/bi students who are out and accepted by their peers. But despite this, I still find myself worried about what my new friends will think-- maybe it's just me being self-conscious, but I have this nagging feeling that things would be weird between us or they'd see me as strange (well, strangER, I suppose-- I'm already pretty weird :lol: ) I suppose I could always just wait until the right time (if there is ever a right time), and see how things play out.