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Coming out = Getting Kicked Out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SongBird300, Mar 23, 2016.

  1. SongBird300

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2016
    Messages:
    34
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    Location:
    Dallas
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So I'm out to a handful but completely self content thanks to this site. There are moments when the truth is just right at the edge of my words and I almost come out and for some damn reason it only happens around people I really wanna be selective to how I approach about coming out. I just get comfortable well...damn [correction] I have individually told a handful of people but on my favorite social media I casually updated my preference and today actually just entered some thoughts that spell out I like girls only because it was my original platform years ago and I openly expressed my bisexuality for many years & the people know I "converted to straightness" these past couple of years but today I was like fuck it and just posted my true feelings but didn't make and will not make a formal come out. More like *Keep up with the speed I'm back to girls* and that was always my safe place to be myself so it's just like I just reopened this community I already had once before and they're like OK so I don't define that as a come out.
    WOW major detour.

    It's my non-supportive family and connections I've made since presenting myself straight that I keep slipping up with. I'm holding out and building up the courage to set them down and explain because I want this weight lifted off my shoulder but my actual life is hung around the way these people see me. If I just come out blunt "Oh she's hot!" , "Yea I'm bi again it's just who I am." I could possibly not have a place to live.
    It's terrible. I have to convince and coax and explain or keep my mouth shut until I'm stable. I guess it's like I have this double life. ~Hell yeah you're accepted/Welcome back vs ~Don't admit you want to go to a regular strip club act like you're all into the male for girls strip club/Don't say you think the girl on TV is hot Got Damn look away you can't let them see your face/Who are you looking to date that's a man? C'mon just agree w/ her and don't say it's either Native or girls

    A fucking balancing act. Look idk about "coming out" my trans friend Adam had a good point. It's not peoples business. Yes it's hell pretending to be straight and I still think about what this trans boy on this TV Game show said in support of LGBTQ that coming out is hard but in the long run it's the best thing you get to be yourself and there's so much love out there. :icon_sad::icon_sad::icon_sad: Coming out is not gonna keep a roof over my head and coming out will be terrible if I loose my family and.....:tears::tears::tears:
    I just can't.

    Thanks for reading I'm done.

    ---------- Post added 24th Mar 2016 at 12:15 AM ----------

    P.S.

    Pretending beats me doown...I find myself not wanting to be around people that I'm hiding from but of course these people are apart of my daily life and I feel bad avoiding them but I just get flooded with shame. My supporters I see briefly 2 days of the week and a few text. In all honesty me and them aren't close and even before when I was out I had this inner power struggle of Stranger Love Me More Than My Family/Close Friends Ever Will and I can physically feel sick thinking about that fact. No I don't want to change. All I desire is to be accepted.