Just feels like I'm not really making any progress on this, and my semi-relationship is going nowhere and I'm just feeling in a crappy mood overall. Sorry, just felt like bitching.
What are you making no progress on? Your "semi-relationship" ? (*hug*) If you need to get it out, we're here to listen.
I think we all have those days, those times, those weeks, those ruts we get into. The feeling like we're running on a hamster wheel, not getting anywhere. The feeling where you have to fight yourself to get out of bed. It'll get better over time. But if you want to talk or anything, we're all here
Hi there! Coming to terms with or accepting your sexuality can take a while. Sometimes it is best to take it slow and trying to understand it. Often, our own internal homophobia prevents us to come to terms with it, because we are still afraid of what it all means and how others (friends and family) will react. But if you take your time, and educate yourself a little bit about what it means to be gay you might find it easier to come to terms with it. What often helps is talking with others who have been in the spot that you are finding yourself in. Talking about our experiences and fears can often bring some clarity and it can allow us to feel good about who we are and take the next steps. If you can and feel comfortable with the idea, try joining a LGBT support group in your community. Also, maybe try attending some social events hosted by the LGBT community. Being in contact with members of the LGBT community can help you in not only overcoming your own internal homophobia but also in becoming comfortable with who you are. This might also allow you to start building your support network on which you can rely and fall back on. I wouldn't worry about coming out just yet. I think it would be important that you come to terms with it and feel comfortable with who you are before coming out. Once you have reached the stage where you can look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud "I'm gay" without having an awkward or bad feeling, then start thinking about taking the next step: coming out. When the time comes where you begin coming out, often it is best to start coming out to close friends. You don't have to come out all at once. Take it slow. Sometimes, it is best to take it one person at a time at first. As you become more comfortable with coming out, you will see that it will become easier. I hope this helps you a bit!
Yeah, it just feels like every time I take a step forward I somehow end up taking two steps back. I admit I'm gay in the mirror feel better for five minutes, and then I spend the day in bed depressed. And then there's the whole relationship thing. I wish denying my feelings until my mid 20's hadn't caused me to develop the emotional relationship maturity in a relationship of a 12 year old who gets terrified that every time someone doesn't immediately respond to a text or email that they're done with me. Being emotionally and psychologically stunted sucks.
First off: (*hug*) Try taking it one step at a time as it were. When you tell yourself that you are gay, and feel good while doing that, just keep on reminding yourself of it. Maybe try not to go to bed. If you feel that it starts becoming overwhelming or if you become emotional, go for a walk, call a friend. Try to spend some time outside of the house. As you become more comfortable and yourself, you will see that things will change. You will become a lot more securer in all kinds of aspects of your life. If someone does not responds immediately to a text or e-mail, remind yourself that's okay. We all have busy lives and at times it can take a while. People will not be done with you even if they don't respond immediately. Remember that when you are texting or e-mailing a friend, your friends are friends with you because they like you. They want to be friends with you. You will get through this!
i totally agree with you about feeling totally depressed on some days. Unfortunatly my day is today and just feel crappy. i dont want to feel this way but have no idea what to do. Read your post and it struck a chord!
