I'm at the point now where a lot of my friends and acquaintances know I'm (mostly) gay, but there are still plenty who don't. I'm not hiding my sexuality, but there are just people in my life who I don't feel close enough to that it warrants a coming out conversation beyond mentioning it when it happens to come up. That's all good and well, but as time passes I'm feeling increasingly frustrated with having so many people still not know. I've been debating posting about it on Facebook to get it over and done with. It would be nice to be as "out" as I can be, but I'm nervous about it. I'm not one who usually puts personal stuff out there for the world (or my friends list) to see. For those of you who came out on Facebook, how did it go? How do you feel about it? Any regrets?
I know how you feel, dude. It gets so tiresome when people just assume you're straight. I was the same way, where most people sort of knew, but not everyone did. I wound up coming out en masse at a school assembly a year and a half ago and pulled an Ellen Page- but that's a story for another time. Before that happened, I came out to all the people I had on facebook. I was pretty casual about it, posting something along the lines of: "Man, I just really want a girlfriend. ... Does this count as coming out?" Overall, the reaction was very positive. A few friends who I had avoided telling in the past had reactions along the lines of "OMG really Jasmine???" and after letting it sink in, they were proud of me for doing it. There were a few cheeseball reactions of people exclaiming they were oh so proud of me, but that probably would have happened regardless as to whether or not it was online. Obviously everyone would have a different experience if they came out online via facebook, just like everyone does in real life. If you think you have a supportive community around you and you don't expect a huge amount of homophobia to come from it (you can never really prevent it, after all), then I say go for it! I'm sure we all know just how annoying it is to be assumed straight all the time. So long as you're in a good place in life right now to tell people, I think it would go pretty well. Update us if you decide to do it!
According to your status on Empty Closets, you are not out to family and I wonder how you might feel if members of your family found out as a result of you posting on Facebook? Something to consider.
JasmineTea - That's awesome that you came out at assembly! You go girl! And thanks for sharing your experience, it's helpful to hear. PatrickUK - I should have clarified, I would most definitely finish coming out to the last few important people who I haven't come out to in person. I'm so terrified of the Facebook thing that I'm just kind of giving it some thought right now; it's not something I'm planning on doing immediately (if at all).
Lol, pulled an Ellen Page. I didn't make a 'coming out' post on Facebook, but I'm planning on doing it. However, it is probably already quite obvious to people who have me on Facebook that I am not heterosexual because I like a lot of gay stuff on there and I choose to display that I frequent gay events and places on there. I didn't get any reactions from anyone about that so far (my friends and family already knew), but I guess it is some form of 'coming out' on Facebook, too. I'm thinking about posting a picture of me on pride when the time comes with a text above it which says something like: 'Yay, I'm so gay!' (nah, just kidding, but my plan is to mention that I am gay in the text in some subtle way without making the post about 'coming out' but rather about celebrating pride). Maybe you could do something like that as well?
When I came out on Facebook, the week leading up to it, I sat down several family members and close friends and told them face-to-face because I didn't want them to find out via Facebook when they'd been in my life for too long. Facebook was for everyone else. The people you see once a year that I just didn't want to sit down one-by-one and have to come out again and again. Also it's easier than having them hear from someone else that you're gay. It can be a really good way to hit multiple acquaintances at once. Just remember, when you put it out there, it's officially out there, so make sure you're ready for that. Unless you're friends with homophobes, it will probably be one of the best days of your life. I know it was for me. The outpouring of support was completely overwhelming
Thanks for the input, guys. I just wanted to post a minor update. I was reading an interesting LGBT-related article today, and it occurred to me that when I feel ready, I can share it (or something similar) with a comment on it like "I loved this piece because it really sums up my feelings on being LGBT, because blah blah..." That way I'm mentioning my orientation because it's relevant to what I'm talking about, as opposed to doing a big official coming out post. I've already been mostly out for so long that I feel silly making a big deal about it at this point. Just thought I'd share in case it's useful to anyone else.
