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where to start

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Noodle72, Mar 27, 2016.

  1. Noodle72

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Currently, I'm out to a couple frens, but by that I mean that one or two people know I'm agender, a couple more people know I'm pansexual, and a few think I still identify as a demiboy, since I used to and came out to a few friends while identifying with that label.

    I've also had a short conversation with my mom where I told her about nonbinary genders and how "I think I might be nonbinary of some sort" even though I know I am, I just wasn't ready to tell her and didn't really know how.

    I have no idea how much my dad knows about nonbinary genders, I think he knows they exist, and I'm sure he'd be accepting, just needing some explaining of what it all means.

    My problem is, I want to start making my way to a place where I can openly be the agender kid named Evan who goes by they/them pronouns, and I have no idea where to start.

    Do I clarify that I now identify as agender to the people who currently think I'm a demiboy? Do I tell my mom about agender and how it's a nonbinary gender and I identify as it? Do I ask my dad how much he knows about nonbinary genders, educate him, and come out? If one of the second two, how would I do that? I'm incredibly shy, and I don't know how I would go about telling them that I want to go by a name that's different from the one that they gave me at birth.

    (*side note: it'd be nice to tell both my parents at the same time, but they're divorced [and I spend equal amount of time at either of their houses] so I can't really do that.)

    I could just wait a while and stay in the closet, but while I'm not necessarily uncomfortable with people not knowing, I'd much rather get to a place where I'm a lot happier with myself and who I am, and where more than two people know these things about me.

    Please help, and thanks in advance for any advice (!)
     
  2. killswitch0029

    Full Member

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    Location:
    New England
    You could try writing a letter. That would give you the chance to provide some details about non-binary genders. You'd likely still have to speak with your parents afterwards though so you would need to prepare yourself for a reaction.
    Hope this helps :slight_smile: