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Can people discover the truth without you coming out to them?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Cornered, Mar 28, 2016.

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  1. Cornered

    Cornered
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    Location:
    The Unknown
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm just wondering because I haven't told anybody at all except three friends who I know won't tell, and then today my sister surprised me by asking if I'd ever thought of cutting my hair really short and how we could go shopping for clothes and she said something about my androgyne style and getting clothes like that, and is it possible she found out or does she just think it's my preferred clothing style?

    Or could she have started suspecting because of my behaviour and my outright refusal to wear feminine and pink clothing, dresses and bikinis, and my tendency to tuck my ponytail into a cap when I wear one?

    I'm just kinda worried, my sister is fine but what if other people found out too because of this and aren't as nice or accepting?
     
    #1 Cornered, Mar 28, 2016
  2. Aberrance

    Aberrance
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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't think people will necessarily figure out that you're trans. I mean people that I've told, even those close to me have been like "oh that makes sense" or "yeah I've always seen you that way" but they never came to/would have come to that conclusion had I not come out. When you crossdress or don't like things people of your designated sex at birth are supposed to like, those around you don't automatically assume trans. Don't stress about that too much. They'll probably just see you as a tomboy or I know a lot of people thought I was a lesbian from my gender expression (even after having shown zero interest in girls). Its not worth getting worried about because there's minimal chance other people will realise.

    About your sister. I can't tell whether she's suspecting or not. Shes being accepting and seems very open minded, maybe it would be worth telling her or dropping hints? If you bring up someone that's trans or a topic that revolves around gender then you can see how she reacts? I can't tell whether she knows or has an idea of whether you are or not though.
     
    #2 Aberrance, Mar 28, 2016
  3. Cornered

    Cornered
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    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thank you for your reply, you've reassured me a lot >w<

    I think I'll ask my sister or drop hints, ehehe but asking outright makes me nervous lol XD.

    Thank you for your input >w< ^w^
     
    #3 Cornered, Mar 28, 2016
  4. Aberrance

    Aberrance
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    Location:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    No problem :')

    You could always write her a letter explaining? Or I've had to quickly write it on my phone notes and show them because I haven't been able to say it out loud. Just take your time, it sounds like you're getting somewhere there's no rush.
     
    #4 Aberrance, Mar 28, 2016
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