I was chatting with a bi guy I met on a networking site. The next day at school a guy (who everyone thinks is gay, who I rarely talk to) asked me what I did yesterday afternoon. He creeped me out, because he gave me the I-know-what-you-did-look! He has another friend who acts effeminate, and both of them are looking that way at me! Today in the school hallway they were greeting me! (more like shouting my name) and I just ignored them. I'm not out at all, and I really don't want to be assiociated with them. Today at school, one of my female friends asked me if I was gay, because a few guy friends of her asked her if I was gay. She said that they said that I told a girl at school that I was gay! I only told one friend a year ago that I was bi and I made sure that no one was around! Here are a few details from the chat with the bi guy, but I changed the names of everything: Him: where do you live? Me: in abc city, you? Him: I'm also from that city. Your face looks familiar Me: really?? Where do you go to school? Him: gif high school. you? (something didn't feel good so I asked him) Me: I've never seen you there. I'm also from that school (which is true) Him: i'm from jpg high school Me: then why did you say gif high school? Him: I'm careful with my info I also know his familyname and he told me in which street he lived. After the chat, I took a look in the telephone book. I saw his family name, but I didn't see the name of the street he told me. Something's going on....and I'm scared of being outed! I feel really stupid now! Sorry it took so long...... Got any advice??
wow... interesting situation. scarey too! u could deny it if someone asks u in school. especially if your school is unaccepting or u could lose friends. being outed against your will is not a good thing... i should kinda know (but it turned out well in my case). if youve got a good poker face, u can lie your way through it.
Another thing, the bi guy almost has the same first name and the same last name as another guy at my school. For example: Bi guy: Johnathan Weaver Guy at school: John Weaver
Ouch! Yeah, I think you're maybe in a tight jam there buddy. I think it'll be ok to attempt the 'poker-face' option, but I'm sorry - you might need a 'plan B'. I hope you don't, but I think there is a risk there which you already suspect; don't you? I mean, I'm assuming that if this guy you were chatting with on-line really is at your school and has guessed who you are; that he is already 'out' yeah? I mean, otherwise he'd be 'outing' himself as well as you if he says anything, right? I'm so sorry, but there may be a chance of him attempting to 'out' you which you'll find near impossible to prevent. Your 'plan B' could be that you are just curious or something, I don't know. You'll probably know best what might work in your school environment. I wish I could tell you that there's no chance of you being 'outed', but this is what you're already scared of, right? I think the best advice I have is that you need to 'get your head around' the possible outcomes here, and plan and know in advance how you intend you'll react. Probably the worse way of reacting would be to freeze or something. We've all done it before so many times, but I hope by preparing yourself for all possible outcomes you'll be able to manage to avoid freezing. My friend, I wish I could be of much more help to you. I hope it turns out ok for you, whichever direction it takes. Take care, Kayar. X
Well, you may be down to damage control at this point. First off, don't keep giving the gay guys the cold shoulder. You don't have to be buddy-buddy with them, but if they yell your name again, just yell back "Hello, random people!" and wave back. If friends ask why they're talking to you, just say "I'm not sure. They just started saying hello to me out of the blue." Because it's true. As far as people asking if you're gay, there's not much you can do there. You can try avoiding the question. "Why are you asking?" "Where'd you get that idea?" "Why is everyone asking me this all of a sudden?" But they may try to pin you down to an answer. You can always play the "unsure" card - "I honestly don't know. But once I figure it out, you'll be the first to know." Lex
i dont know... u might as well tell them that your gay if u say unsure... thats how us kids take it these days. not to conflict with u, of coarce, Lex.
I think everyone needs to rethink these networking sites. When you are on the internet, you open your soul to the world, a dangerous place to be. You don't know who you are talking to in the first place and although I am not trying to be an alarmist, these sites are regularly trolled by adults looking for young people and they do have success. Be careful! I also agree that you shouldn't be rude or 'cold shoulder' these gay guys, I think that is being hypocritical and exactly what so many of us have experienced from homophobes and gay bashers. Perhaps if you took this guy aside and spoke to him or met him after school you could find a common field and discuss the matter. If he is the guy and you're rude to him, you may piss him off and suffer his wrath. Besides, it's easier being nice as opposed to being rude. You may just find him sympathetic/empathetic to your situtation. If you have been treating him with open hostility in the past, he may think he has found you out as a closeted homophobe and want to get back at you. Put yourself in his shoes and take the higher road. Good luck
Vehement denial now might cause problems later if you decide to come out to people at school, and could get people suspicious. Try and keep a light touch - say a casual hi to the gay guys who say hi to you, and if someone asks outright if you're gay, maybe you could make a comment like "So many people have been asking me this lately, what's up with that?" rather than saying yes or no.
Both replies up above me are valid. Don't be hella rude to them, they're probably just releived to find another gay/bi/curious person. You know how hard that is in Highschool? It's a major bitch--and they probably get treated like crap and day and snickered at. So if you're unhappy with them being so chummy, just pull them aside and tell them your situation. Because the poster above said exactly what Iwould. If you act TOO mean, they will get pissed and out you on purpose. Or they can be really nasty but chances are, they just want a friend. Perhaps, someone else they can depend on.
Oh, and when going online to networking sites--you need to be prepared for this sorta thing to happen. Guaranteed 75% minimum of school kids use some sort, Myspace, or EC. Just becareful.
Thanks for all the advice guys! Today they greeted me again (I hate it when they do that), and I greeted them back by saying Hi. I did hear one of them say: 'Oh, he knows us now....' But I didn't really care.. I chatted with the bi guy again today and here it is: Me: Who are you?? Him: what do you mean?? Me: Why don't I see your name next to the street you told me? Him: Because I'm not carrying my father's name. Him: Duhhhh Him: You are too curious. Him: Really too curious. Him: Damn Me: Because dolce and gabbana are acting really weird at me. (I called the gay guys dolce and gabbana Lol) Him: ?? Him: Ooh... that's not me fault Him: I don't know dolce personally, I just know who he is. Him: don't come accusing me! Me: I'm not accusing you, I'm just asking you. Because gabbana asked me what I did that day and he gave me a really creepy look! Me: I don't trust them. The bi guy didn't reply. I want to see his status and..... he just went offline! How f*ck*ng rude!! I'm really mad now!!
kinda talk to them about what happened but not openly. hint around the subject and see if u can get one to crack. if they know what your talkin about, theyll tell u what u wanna hear.
