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still a tad bit confused but prertty certain.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sarah, Feb 19, 2009.

  1. Sarah

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    Hello empty closets members,

    Just an update on my life. I was with a guy for 2 months but it didn't work so i broke up with him. Mostly because i wanted to find out who I am and explore my curiousity. Now i have a HUGE crush on this girl at my school. She's absolutely awesome. She knows who I am and stuff. I've been wanting to talk to her like in person and get to know her. but now I barely see her anywhere. So that's a bit of a downer. I'm thinking that I should maybe forget about her for a while and try to just focus on myself since I'm also feeling a bit depressed sometimes(not full on depressed just a smidgin, nothing to bad most of the time). But i think that if i figure out who i am i wount be sad dn stuff. i think that my confusion is making me feel lik im denying myself, so it makes me depressed.

    so i like girls but ive never been with one. ive been wit lik 2 guys but didnt really lik it when they kissed me but i do lik them, lik their personality and emotions, i just dont lik them physically.

    i want to find out who i am. ive askd this b4 and its kinda stupid to ask again but, does anybody kno if theres a way to find out for sure if ur straight lesbian bisexual or anything else? if so, PLEASE, share the love, and the info. lol.

    i just want to know who i am in this world, if im anyone at all:icon_redf:smilewave
     
  2. hiddendc4

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    Sarah I was just like you, I still am in plenty of ways, but what I think you're gonna find out here is that you will figure everything out on your own. Now if you need a tad bit of guidance along the way then all you need to do is turn to EC. I say just listen to your instincts and you won't go wrong.
     
  3. jangel

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    Hi sarah being a teen is very confusing. It took me a really long time to figure out I was a lesbian. I identified as Bi-sexual fo a long time I dated and slept with quite a few guys...and it wasn't bad..but it wasn't magic either. They were great guys but it always felt like a friendship. But when I was with my straight girlfriends I fould myself fiercly protective of them and also wanted a much closer relationship than what was "normal". When I began dating woman it was different. The butterfly's were there I just wanted to be with them all the time.... It felt intimate! I still just wanted to be straight...I did not come out completely until I was 20 when I found that special woman that I knew I wanted to be with. I don't think there is any sure way to tell at your age....and I don't suggest you start having a ton of sex to find out (that will only hurt you and your self esteem) just take it slow, figure yourself out, listen to your heart, not society and find a supportive adult in your life to talk to ..maybe your school counselor? feel free to write me and I hope this helps some.
     
  4. Bryan44

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    Hmm.. I was in this situation too not to long ago. I got out of a long term relationship with a girl who I really loved, but I knew there was something missing. I was really attracted to her in that we were both on the same emotional level, but when ever I would think about us sexually, I was completely turned off. Before you date someone, always ask yourself this, "can I see myself with this person for the rest of life?" although your young and you will prolly date alot of people, you can find alot of answers in that one question. As for right now though, I think that you shouldnt worry about trying to label yourself as lesbian or bi..It will all work itself out, you will know when you feel emotional/physical attraction for someone, and your heart will tell you the rest. Be patient.
     
  5. inTheAttic

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    ah yes, i know the feelings ur going through; ESPECIALLY the mild depression and mass confusion. when I was still figuring my orientation out, I just felt torn to shreds on the inside. and YES, figuring yourself out will make you feel better. However, it may take a while for you to get there; it took me about a month to actually figure out exactly where my orientation fell, and then about another month before my mind actually completely accepted it. But once I did, it was like a two-ton brick had just been taken off my head. Some people take longer; unfortunately, there is no singular test you can take to figure out if you're gay or not; otherwise support forums like this would only be half as useful.
    But one thing is for sure, it does take time. Do NOT rush yourself; if you're still not entirely comfortable with the label "lesbian" or "bisexual", then don't label yourself! The world isn't going to blow up if you don't figure yourself out within the next week; take as long as you need. :slight_smile:
    the bottom line question is: who turns you on more? and it sounds like you've already answered that pretty well - there's half of your problem tackled. next, is accepting yourself for however you answer that question, and that is unfortunately the harder part. DON'T WORRY - you WILL figure yourself out!!! (*hug*)
     
  6. SexyTimeInTent

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    I know how you feel too, I went through the same thing, for a long time I question my sexuality and had relationships with guys, but I never had any butterflies or anything like that in fact a couple of times I 'ended' it before we'd even kissed cause I really didn't like the thought, but I'm still mascarading as bisexual cause it took long enough for me to accept that I was attracted to girls (about 2 years), accepting a lack of sexual attraction to guys is hard when many still consider straight relationships to be the norm. you dont need to label yourself. if you have a friend you can really truely trust (perhaps someone you've been friends with for your whole life) then maybe you could let them know about how you feel and your confusion and they could help you figure it all out.
    perhaps take time out from guys and/or keep some sort of diary about your feelings or day to day events and things that happen which you can read if you're thinking about it. I found that helped, but everyone is different and do whatever's best for you, just relax and be yourself (it'll soon fall into place) and enjoy life as best you can, and dont do anything stupid! lol

    good luck with w/e you do :slight_smile:
     
  7. Sarah

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    thanks for the support guys :slight_smile:
     
  8. LyraLissa

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    It has taken me over half a year to understand myself, and the journey's not over yet.
    Best of luck- we're here for you.
    ~Hugs, Lyra