Hi guys, I'm 99% sure that I'm a lesbian. While I can't label myself with absolute certainty yet, I'm 100% sure that I like girls. I've suspected since 2009 and accepted it in 2012. I'm comfortable with my homosexuality (or bisexuality, although the latter is unlikely). I accidentally came out to my mum 2 months ago, when I wasn't ready. What happened was that I asked her for her opinion on LGBTQ. She didn't give a definite answer and kept pushing me to tell her why I'm so adamant on getting a proper answer out of her. So it just slipped out and I told her I liked girls. She was understandably shocked and asked me how I could be so sure. My subsequent explanation came out all WRONG, my words sounded creepy and my speech was a mess. (Like I said, coming out to her so soon was unintentional) I recall saying creepy things like "When I see hot girls I want to touch them/be with them" and "I like girls' boobs. And legs. And butts". :bang::bang::bang::bang::bang: All I was trying to do was to convince her that I was absolutely sure that I was attracted to girls. My mum got even more shocked and then she told me that I'm too young to know for sure. She also said that I could have been "influenced", and that I shouldn't keep thinking that I'm "that way". Lastly, she told me not to tell anyone that I'm gay. That's too late, because I already came out to my best friend, my psychologist, and my aunt (mum's sister) before that. I also came out to my classmates BY ACCIDENT (but that's another story). The good thing is, all of them promised not to tell anyone else, so I have one less thing to worry about. My family isn't religious, and my mum isn't homophobic, but my country is generally not accepting of LGBTQ. I had hoped for a better response from her, but I understand that all this in a span of one hour is too much for my mum to take. It shattered the pristine image she had of me. She still loves me as her daughter, but she looked really worried that night. After that night, we only spoke about it once, then we both never brought it up again. I need help. When is the right time to schedule my second coming out to her? What should I say to make it a proper coming out to show her that I'm not just a horny confused kid? Should I even come out to my dad at all? My dad is rather traditional. (he doesn't have a clue) I want my family to accept me as I am. Also, is it wise to hide my sexual orientation from my university and future employers? Thank you. :help:
First of all, congrats on the success you've had so far with coming out As for your mom, one possibility would be to put off coming out a second time just to give her some extra time to process everything and let it all soak in. Part of her reaction could have just been a shock factor. She still might be adamant about her decision when the second time comes around if she's concerned about your age being a factor, but eventually she'll come to terms when she understands that you truly are a lesbian or whatever it is that you ultimately decide you are.
