Hi. I don't know if advice is a good word here but it would be nice to read if someone had the same or something like that. I've just came out to closest family and some of my friends but to be honest I've also came out for real to myself. It was really hard, probably everybody who went through this process found that difficult... My question... For 2 weeks after coming out I'm still feeling very...strange. Like, most of the time I'm happy, excited, motivated but sometimes also upset or stressed. I was always very emotional person but after coming out I feel really... I even don't know how to call it. Most of time I feel on emotional high and I feel like I need to find somebody. That's really different because I always thought that probably I'm asexual because even though I've always liked women more than men I was never sexually atracted with nobody. After coming out I feel like everything changed, I feel relieved, like I'm finally being truly with myself and happy with who I am but also I'm interested in physical more than ever in my life I think. And even though I feel like I could make out with some girl at the party but I can't because (also not so long ago) I've met a girl that I really like and I care about her. Coming back to my question.. I'm interested if anybody here felt/is feeling the same. Is/Did anybody here feeling/feel happy about coming out but also stressed, a little more nervous and more interested in physical attraction? Or maybe in my situation, it's not only about coming out but also about meeting somebody and my feelings are mixed because of anxiety how it all will went with this girl... Sometimes, I'm just overehelmed by all these feelings. It would be great to find out what you think about it (gosh, that feels strange to ask people on forum like this for such kind of things but I'm curious).
The first time I told someone, I kept feeling regret, random butterflies, anxiousness, etc. when I thought about it, so you're not alone.
When I came out to someone I trust - the very first time - I thought my head would explode after. It was like anxiety on overdrive. Exciting and terrifying because there is no turning back. Not to the person I came out to but me. Artgayfriend, you gave yourself a gift regardless of how different you feel. You were honest with yourself. As for being excited, stressed and feeling sexual. Yes, I did and still do feel that way.
I've been out about a month. Every time I tell someone, it's still scary. I do feel much less angry with the world and my overall stress level is lower since I told my close ones. To be blatant, I'm horny as hell. It's like I'm 13 again. I really want a boyfriend, now. I think about skinning, cuddling, and sex so often it gets distracting. I still have to push away fear and loathing when I see a guy and think "damn, he's hot and i want him in my bed" From what I've read here and elsewhere, that's normal. You've been holding back a long time and now you are allowing yourself to feel and it's like a beating dam. I'm hoping it will subside a little. Just be sure to stay safe and over think any sexual activity and be sure you have protection if you even think you may be doing something. I've been abstinent for now, but when I get active, no anonymous sex for me and protection always until I've got a good LTR.
So I haven't come out, thus I don't have any experience to share, but I watched Troye Sivan's coming out video on youtube, and he kind of talks about that. I'm not sure if you've seen it. If you haven't you should definitely look it up! He basically talks about how when people come out they say how relieved they felt, etc., but they don't ever talk about what happens after the initial moment of relief. He says that he felt uncomfortable and strange afterwards, and I'm sure he isn't the only one. I can see how that would happen, without a doubt.
There is a panic inside you when you're in the closet. The longer you wait in there the more powerful it gets. It doesn't go away right away when you come out to everybody. It just finds something else to make you panic about. When I came out to my parents, a voice in my head kept saying "Shit I can't undo this. It's out there and I can't take it back" I kept second guessing whether or not it was a good Idea to come out at all. Luckily, my partner, at the time, talked me down from it. You're going to be anxious for a while till it becomes the norm for you and those around you. Just takes time.
