I've decided to ignore relationships. I think I can actually be content/happy without one. I'm choosing Asexuality. I just have no other options and I never will. I know this because no part of me actually wants to deal with coming out. I know this doesn't need a thread, but I'm curious, has anyone else made this work? I think I can make it work.
Yeah, I tried for about a year or two because I was so sick of pondering my sexuality and I didn't want that extra burden. It didn't work, I almost killed myself, and finally I accepted being gay and started working on coming out, which ended up not being such a big deal for the people I'm out to. Just curious, why are you trying this? Because trust me, if you pick the right people and build yourself a base of support, coming out and trying relationships isn't so life-shattering even if you get rejected.
For reference: As long as you feel the need of having sex, at least casually, or looking at boys or girls or w/e and thinking "damn they're hot", you're being a sexual being. So asexual might not be the right term. Willingly single might be the best term I can think of. Now, I will be sincere and I apologize if I sound mean, it isn't my intention. I think you're afraid and you're basically letting your fear of rejection take over your life. Yes, coming out is hard. Yes it will be stressful. But your attitude is not helping. I think you should think this a little more and realize what things you'll be missing out if you choose the path you're willing to take. The human being is a social being, therefore it is a sexual and loving being. We *need* company. That is why "God created Adam and Eve" if you're religious. Adam felt alone. Now look beyond that, this is why we choose to have partners in the school balls or dances. Or this is why we have dating websites and hooking places. We need relationships. We need love and affection. We need... sex. It will always be a struggle to come out, *i* know that. I also felt the uncomfortable and somewhat unreal feeling of "I might always be alone so I will just give up on dating or coming out or whatever" but I also believe that we all have a soul mate. Sadly, some soul mates oversleep, or miss the bus, or just are too shy and appear latter in life, but the saddest thing a human can do is to allow himself or herself to lose the hope. I wish you the best, and keep strong
I doubt you can just choose to become asexual. I mean, you can choose not to pursue any relationships whatsoever, but it's out of your control whether or not you feel happy with it. Much like being gay, you're stuck with it. I did think of becoming asexual once. In a way I was successful in not having had any relationship or sex, ever. But not having any relationships or sex is no longer an aspiration in my life. I found there were indeed options, and I just had to take them, and not lock myself in anymore. And it's not as if people don't start asking any questions if you never have any relationships...
I tried this before admitting to myself I'm gay. It didn't really work when all my friends were getting married and I've never even dated. If I were actually asexual it probably wouldn't bother me, but when you actually want to able to date and connect with someone it will. Don't do this to yourself :icon_sad:
Um...o...k.... I don't think you can make yourself asexual. Just like you can't make yourself any other sexuality. You will always be who you are. You can make yourself celibate. And being single isn't bad. I'm enjoying it a great deal.
Relationships - for lack of better term - happen. If you ask people to think of their friendships and lovers, most weren't actively sought. People meet, they click, and friendships (or romances) develop from there. Lex
Everyone here can tell you that you can't choose your sexuality. If you're gay, you're gay; if you're straight, you're straight; if you're bi, you're bi; and if you're asexual, you're asexual. That doesn't change. Choosing to be single - that you can do. I won't tell you whether it's a good idea or not, because I don't know - I tried it and failed miserably, I now have an almost-girlfriend and a guy with a crush on me *mutter*. I will say, though, that if you choose to deny yourself anything, it should be because you don't want it, or because it would be harmful to have it - not because you're scared of it. Plan on coming out. Maybe not now - when you're in a better situation, when you feel you can cope, whenever that may be.
