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Coming Out Advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Iowan1976, Apr 13, 2016.

  1. Iowan1976

    Full Member

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    Okay,

    In the last few days I have come out to my closest friends, and I was very thrilled because they have been very supportive. (Doing all types of cheers)(!)(!)(!)(!)

    Now, the strange part. They have all said that they want me to find someone and be happy, but I get vibes from them that they do not want to talk about it with me. Is this something that others have faced? Or am I just being ultra sensitive to the body language I am getting from them?
     
  2. Dot Com

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    First of all, yay for coming out and having a good support system! :slight_smile: You deserve that love and compassion.

    I have felt this with some of the people in my life, as well. They fundamentally support you, but they don't really fully understand your identity and can seem kind of uncomfortable if they try to. It can be for a number of reasons: they don't know how to behave, they have imagined your future partner being a certain gender and they need to re-frame this image, they don't know what you expect of them, and the list goes on.

    I dealt with it depending on who it was. With most people, I got the cue and just didn't talk about my romantic ventures because it seemed to make both of us uncomfortable. With others, I brought up their reluctance and had a good discussion on it.

    I think it depends on your relationship with these people, and how you feel they'd respond to you telling them that their behaviour is throwing you off. As the cliche adage goes, honesty is the best policy and you deserve to have relationships where you can be yourself :slight_smile:
     
  3. Iowan1976

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    Thank you for the advice. They have been great...especially since I have two friends who are not gay friendly at all. They have not treated me any different on any issue except when we talk about love life things... then the conversation kinda dies. I have been waiting for them to bring it up. I had one friend who asked me today, "What happens if you are alone for the rest of your life? I mean there are not a lot of guys around here who are gay." So I wonder if this is the source of their concern.