dating

I would first try working on getting comfortable around gay people. Try joining a couple of LGBT groups and go to some meeting and do some activities with the group. You need to work on this before you can start to date or have any type of relationship.

 

I'm kinda in the same boat. I'm pretty shy and I need a mentor, haha. A friend wants to set me up with a guy she works with who she's 'pretty sure' is gay, but doesn't wanna ask him. I feel like if he is and he's dated, then he'd look at me and think it's not worth the trouble helping me break every barrier because I've never dated before.

 

You dont have to be scared of gay guys Dan We love you! (*hug*)

But honestly, dont worry. You dont have to go date someone who knows all the words to every Britney song...*cough*...but yea, there are many gays in the sea. Just figure out what type of guy your looking for. There are so many different guys its not even funny Dont buy into anything or anyone telling you that you have to find THIS kind of guy or that only THIS kind of guy even exists. I hope from your brief time on EC so far that you have met lots of different types of guys and gals and that it helps you find out what YOU trul want.

But yes, dont be afraid of anyone No one is out to covert you into a "super gay" or force you into being someone your not!

 

I too am the same way lol. I'm not really comfortable around blatantly obvious gay guys. But what I think it is, is just an attraction difference. Look how many different types of girls that are out there that straight guys date. So I think that's the case for gays too. They are attracted to different types. But if I like the more straight kind, its really hard to identify them lol. So where do I find them?

I don't want blind dates. I hate them. Having a mentor to take us through it would help. Kramer, you said you were nervous because you're new, they might not be, that they might not be patient working with your coming out? Unless they've been out all their life, everyone has been through a coming out process. They should know the feeling and give you the support and space you need.

I hope that one day, I'm comfy enough to try to start dating. I know the feeling of being so alone and wishing you had someone to be with. I'd love to be able to find the guy for me.

 

In the same situation here. For years I have perfected the art of chickening out on dates other friends tried to set me up with. And now that I finally feel I should start going out and start dating, I have the impression I missed the boat. It would have been easier to do this kind of stuff in college. I'm freezing up just from the idea of going out and getting into conversations with people I don't kno.

Luckily, I first came out to a gay guy, who has already proposed an "action plan" to get me into the local gay community as fast as possible. My agenda is quickly getting filled that way :lol:

Not that I harbour any illusions. I'll probably start chickening out of the things he planned just like I did when my friends were setting me up with girls... :icon_redf

 

When I first started to date I was a bit nervous and unsure with myself. That feeling went away pretty quickly. I was just acted like myself. I actually found it easier talking with guys than women. Take it slow and have fun!

 

Np. Yea, that first day you were in chat you got to see alot of my "musical taste" hahaha. Self-esteem was something i has 0 of a few months ago, it was amazing how fast and rapidly that changed when i came out to ALL my friends. For me it was all about spending less effort covering up what im not, that made all the difference. Just keep chatting people up, meet new people, and try and find out who YOU are, like who you really are deep within. Whatever you turn out to be, there is going to be someone else looking for exactly that and all you have to do is find him (you can lure him in with your body, dont worry about that one hah, just put it out there and wait for a bite )

 

This is sorta the one thing I dislike....limfjord there is no way to "act" gay. Just be yourself that's all it takes. But I agree with the others, get involved with a lgbt group, but always remember to be yourself.

 

You're probably wanting straighter acting gays Limmy. Finding them can be a hardship as they're more rarer than the feminine types with limp wrists. Why? Because they act straight like you or I and sometimes you'll find it hard to suspect them. I would attend LGBT meetings though; perhaps, you'll meet one. I have homophobia too so it can be troublesome around those specific girly types.