Hey everyone, I haven't been around much since I got back from overseas in January. A fair bit has happened since then. I have come out to my twin brother, my mum and my sister and my cousin. Telling them was hard and very scary but their reactions were all very positive and supportive. I have also met a guy and been 'seeing' him I guess. I don't want to rush into a relationship this soon but we are mates and he is a great guy. The problem I have at the moment is that I have told some of my family but I haven't told any of my mates yet. I want to become more involved in the gay community and make some gay friends but it's hard because none of my mates know yet and it's holding me back from meeting other gay people because I don't want to draw too much attention to myself. The problem I have atm is regarding my best friend. I've talked about him alot in previous posts and he is the next person I want to tell before I let my other mates and extended family know. It's a complicated situation because his younger sister who I am also friends with is head over heels in love with me and no matter of me telling her I'm not interested seems to get through to her. His girlfriend, who he met overseas when we travelled together last year, and I have become very good friends and it's getting to the point where he is becoming increasingly jealous of us talking to each other and interacting on social media. I've told him already that there is nothing suss going on and we're just friends, and that if he doesn't like it then I'll stop talking to her, but he says it's fine and he doesn't care. When I speak to her however she says he gets really jealous when we talk to each other, so he is obviously not ok with it. The ridiculous part of all of this obviously is that I'm gay and have no interest in his girlfriend or his sister. I've been wanting to come out to him the past few weeks but the opportunity has never presented itself. Whenever we've hung out its been in group situations or else I haven't been able to speak to him privately. I tried twice this week to organise to catch up one on one and he bailed both times and I think it's because he's annoyed at me for having a conversation with his gf thr other day while she was having an anxiety attack. He is the type of person who won't confront you if he is upset about something, he rather retreats and broods over it. I am really annoyed at him about this, because I told him specifically that I wanted to catch up,with him and that I had something important to tell him. I am getting to the point where I don't know whether or not I should just write him a 'letter' explaining everything and text or fb message it to him. Obviously this would be the easier option for me so I don't have to do it face to face but I really want to do it in person. He is my best friend and I feel like I owe it to him to be upfront and personal about it. What do you guys think? Do you think its better to come out in person or is a letter ok in this situation? If you could offer any advice or share your own experiences I would appreciate it alot. Cheers, Bounced
I was just going to make a post with the same question, so this has been on my mind a lot as well. I don't think there's any one "right" way to come out, and if you think doing it by letter would be best then you should do it that way. If he keeps avoiding you then it's not like you're left with much choice. That being said, it sounds as though you guys really need to talk anyway. I'd recommend giving him another chance or two to meet up. If he's already avoiding you then writing him a letter/message could leave things in an awkward silence where he isn't responding, and it sucks to be in limbo like that. Could it be that he already suspects, and that's why he's avoiding you? I know you say he thinks you're interested in his girlfriend, but the thought crossed my mind. It's weird that he would blow you off when you've said you have something important to talk to him about. Then again, he might think you're going to tell him you cheated with his girlfriend, and that's why he's being so weird. TL;DR - I think you'd be fully "justified" in writing him a letter (not that you need justification), but in this specific scenario I think that talking in person would probably be best.
Why don't you try to catch him alone? You can go to his house or something like this! Or try talking to his gf so she can help you to meet with him. If he is upset because he's jealous... The situation is a bit ridiculous If not, you can write him! As I just said in another post, it doesn't matter how you say it, as long as you are comfortable and he is told by you! Good luck!! We would like to know what happens!
