I known I haven't been as straight as an arrow for around five years now. I only started accepting it a couple of years ago, but haven't really done much to act upon it. I'm approaching the end of my first year at uni, and I was at a party tonight. I have tried to avoid girls because I think I should try to experiment with the same sex, but everyone just thinks I'm just shy with relationships (like seriously, surprised no one has caught on yet). We had a party tonight and, firstly, one girl commented 'I don't know why you're so shy about girls, but I'll try and find out why'. Then I was told that my future housemate (a girl who I did make out with once) really likes me by my gay friend. He gave me a long talk, and finally said 'for the next few years, you're young, you're at uni, you're here to make mistakes and learn from them. Just try out what you feel is best.' And I agree with him. So this got me thinking: maybe I should just go with my housemate and see what happens, but I still want to experiment. My admirer housemate was having a talk with my best friend (we're also living with each other next semester), and I think it's time I just talked about my feelings with him and go through my dilemma of what to do. The thing is, this is the first time I've ever come out. There's been a couple of times where I've been asked directly and I remained pretty ambiguous, but I want to lay out all my cards on the table. It seems fair as we're living together next year. I told him I want to speak to him tomorrow, but I am so scared. How do I break it to him? Should I be aware of everything? I feel so naive. Any advice is appreciated.
This may be coming from a biased viewpoint since the first and only person (so far) I have come out to is my best friend, who is also gay, over Skype messaging. But anyway, you might need to prepare yourself for just a couple of minutes just before you tell them. I had to lie down on my bathroom floor (so if I cried my family wouldn't hear/see) for about 10 minutes. And then I just said it. The feeling you get after telling someone after bottling up your feelings for so long makes you feel great. So great. I felt giddy, I was laughing. Just have that thought in mind before you tell them, it will all be worth it. Also, we both live in the UK, which we both know is a generally accepting country of gays/lesbians, so I wouldn't sweat it. I doubt they'd hate you because of it or anything. If you're still nervous, I recommend watching these two videos by Watchwellcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCXISLpjzI4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcccOi5Drms I hope I helped, and good luck!
Always be aware that even if someone reacts positively (which I think he will) there's always a potential risk of them spreading the secret to other friends, facebook or even family members. If you are happy to take that risk then go ahead. Otherwise it may be worth it to wait a bit longer. But considering you still have two whole years at university to go, you'll probably get more out of your experience by telling people. Good luck.
