When should I tell my family?

Well I came out to my mom and sister before I had a relationship, but I have waited until I met m current boyfriend to start telling the rest of my family, including my dad. I'm sure that in some was it will be a lot to take in, but it also means that you will have extra support from your girlfriend when telling them. If you think it is a lot to take in you could always just come out and see what their reaction is and then either tell them right away about your girlfriend or a little later once the bi thing sinks in. Personally, I'll probably do it all at once because I want him therefor support.

 

Hi, you were so helpful and kind on my thread that I want to give something back

Are you out to your friends? To me, this was the most important. I needed them to know, in order for me to tell them about my life and for them to relate to me.

I came out to my family members after that, one by one (mom, dad, sis, grandma and I´m sure along the lines my brother found out). I found it incredibly awkward to do (we hardly talk about feelings as well), but I am glad I did because now they know. Relevant or not, it is so relieving that you can stop trying to watch your words.

For example, while watching TV, I comment out of habit that I think so and so looks beautiful and am quite outspoken about gay and trans rights. Before I came out, my parents were confused and awkward that I cared so much. Now my father laughs with me, commenting on women we see in TV shows and my mom has asked me for advice on how to deal with her closeted gay trainee. They were surprisingly supportive. Awkward and sometimes clueless, but supportive nonetheless.

So I felt relieved once I had come out of the closet, even if I did not have a ´relevant´ relationship. So that´s my personal experience, and I´ve heard from quite a few friends that they have done this the same way.

Good luck in making up your mind!

 

I too wanted to wait till I was in a relationship to come out to may family. I also wanted it to be a strong, committed relationship. I waited because I didn't really want them to try to tell me "oh, you're not" or "how do you know, you've never been with a girl, you've always dated guys" etc. I also wanted to be 100% sure that I was attracted to females in more than just "I can appreciate a beautiful woman" kind of way.
I came out to my parents a little over a year after I had started dating my current girlfriend. To me, I think it was easier for me to explain to them how she made me feel and how I've become a better person since she and I have been together.

How did I come out? Well, I live about 5 hours away from my parents so sitting down to talk wasn't an option. I'm also better at expressing my feelings in writing and wanted them to have time to think before they responded irrationally, so I actually texted my mom. I explained why I decided to text her and not call her and told her that when she was ready to talk about it then we could. It took a few days and we finally kinda talked about it. She said some hurtful things but you really have to put yourself in their shoes as well. They don't really understand it because its something that they haven't experienced.
I had to explain to my mom that I was telling her because I wanted to be able to be myself and hope that it would make us closer because I was more comfortable with myself and didn't feel like I was hiding a big part of me any more. She and I have never really been close. We have a very strict parent:child relationship and there's not much of a friendship type relationship. It's still a work in progress but a small step in the right direction is always good.

I too chose not to really involve my girlfriend because I didn't want her to feel like it was her fault if something between me and my parents went poorly. I'm very conscious about considering her feelings in everything that I do because I am very protective of her and her feelings.

 

Hi. So you're post really jumped out at me because I found myself in a very similar situation but I wanted to wait to reply until I had something constructive to say. I'm not sure I do now but here I am anyway. Though I'm not in a relationship right now and I haven't told my friends that I'm Bi, I did just tell my sister. We're very close and, like you I was confident she'd take it well. Still I was nervous. Though I personally don't see my sexuality as a huge deal and therefore question the whole Coming Out routine (for me personally, not looking down on anyone who rightly celebrates), I'm a generally socially anxious person anyway so being the center of attention for something so personal is weird. But I just told my sister tonight. As expected, she took it really well. She had a couple of questions, mostly about my wellbeing and questioning if I felt like I was hiding before (which I hadn't). However, my piece of possibly somewhat constructive testimonial is that I never got that wave of relief. I don't know if that's even really a thing but I was sort of expecting it, especially since she was the first person I told that I was "stepping out of the straight box". Maybe the wave would happen if I decided to come out to everyone. Who knows. Moral of the story is, my personal experience telling my sister went super great. I still don't have plans to tell the rest of my parents unless some sort of serious relationship comes along. And, surprise surprise, I don't feel much different. Still me And you'll still be you

(Not sure that was helpful)

 

Come out before the relationship. Some parents may blame the partner for their kid's queerness.

 

I'm going to vote with SkyGirl. I waited to come out until I was in a committed relationship. By doing so, I gave my parents a convenient scapegoat. They rained all of their blame down on my partner. I know they would have been just as negative if I'd told them sooner, but at least my partner would have been spared their venom. I should have told them, let then get used to the idea and tried to work through my relationship with them before I involved someone else.