When will it be to late...

It's never too late to come out.
You should come out when you feel ready and accept yourself. Also when you know that you won't be harmed and it's safe (which is obviously the case for you).
Nobody can tell you when you should come out.
Some people do it at a very young age, some when they're old.
I can't say if it affects you, if you don't do it for a long time, because I am only 18.
You say your parents will support you. I'm sure they won't be angry if you tell them when you're older. It's a difficult thing, as I experience myself right now.
But if you feel comfortable and really want to and know yourself, then it doesn't matter how old you are, you can always come out.

 

Hate to break it to you but it's one of those questions you will never find a satisfying answer to Everyone will say the same: you should come out when you're ready, something you probably already figured out yourself.
As Embi says though; it's never too late. I don't see why it would negatively affect your well-being to stay closeted until a certain age (unless you have to put on a mascerade to hide your sexuality, that's probably not so healthy). Personally I waited for high school to end because of the childish attitude people still tend to have at that age. Not to say you should do the same; a few guys did come out in highschool and nobody really cared apart from the usual jokes. I favor coming out to one or a few friends at a time and after that to your family. If that takes you a month then that's fine, but if it takes you a few years then that's still perfectly fine.

 

I didn't come out until around 25. It's never too late. Most of my gay friends came out between 18-21, but that was also 10 years ago and the world is quite a bit more accepting

Only 1 guy I know my age was out in highschool, everyone else waited until the torture of highschool was over before coming out. But I know quite a few kids your age who are out and perfectly accepted by their peers. 2016 - depending where you live - is a pretty accepting time.

 

It's never too late. I didn't come out until I was 32. I only did it then because I fell in love with a man who was out. I knew I couldn't expect him to hide who he was because of me. And I wouldn't disrespect him by denying who he was to me. I wish I had come out when I was younger. I let my fear rule me.

Would you like to be out to your parents? Telling them doesn't mean you have to tell everyone. Only you can judge your situation and figure out when the right time is. But I think that it's smart to wait til you're older. For one thing, you'll be able to handle yourself better and cope with situations and emotions better.

Good luck, whatever you decide!

 

I was 'out' at 14. I had told some close friends before that but it was public knowledge at school at that point. I told my family after that and didn't get the same positive response but it wasn't terrible. My partner, who I went to school with, didn't realise he was gay until we met up again at 18.
There is no early or late time to come out but don't get me wrong, there isn't really a good time either. It's never easy because you can't know what the response will be but once it's done, it's done.
If you think your parents will support it and you are confident in yourself, why do you think you have to wait to be 18? I'm not saying you should or shouldn't but a lot is going to happen in the next four years.
You also have the option of not coming out by the way. I don't mean forever in the closet, I mean just be your gay self without ever having to make a big deal of it. It's a radical idea but it's the future we all hope for.

 

My only qualm about this is when will I be old enough to come out and when will it affect me... When I'm old, alone and sad...

Well I came out at 46 and I feel old alone and sad.

It's never too late. I didn't come out until I was 32. I only did it then because I fell in love with a man who was out. I knew I couldn't expect him to hide who he was because of me. And I wouldn't disrespect him by denying who he was to me. I wish I had come out when I was younger. I let my fear rule me.

I let my fear rule me too, and it still does.

So my advice is come out when you are ready, accept yourself and love yourself first before you come out. This day and age is so much more accepting. I think your choice of 18 is fine have some fun while you're young man. Play the field, practice safe sex, you will get your heart broken but it will heal with time. If you wait until you are my age you will regret what you missed out on. Good luck my friend!

 

Hi SillyGoose, it is good that you are prioritising your education because you're only going to get one chance at it. One of the biggest issues I have in the education system is how minority pupils/students education suffers due to a lack of specific support and tolerating discrimination. If you ever feel that your education is suffering though, make sure you discuss it in confidence with a trusted teacher for example, to avoid losing out.

The only worry I have for you is that having a hidden sexuality can cast a big shadow over your life and hold you back in ways that you don't even realise. It might not ever be a problem but don't forget to reach out for help if it becomes too much before you're ready to 'come out'.

Have you considered ways to develop your self-confidence. I was very introvert as a child and early teen but I made the change so I believe anyone can. This isn't specific to your sexuality but it will still help when the time comes. :icon_bigg

 

It really depends on what is holding back your confidence because there are so many reasons.
The main thing I found is that people that love themselves have tons much confidence. People that tend not to like themselves for whatever reason usually have less confidence. If you don't like yourself then it is very hard to see how someone else could like you and so it can lead to you worrying about getting in to a situation where others will judge or criticise you. Presenting to a group or playing sports are examples of situations that commonly cause these worries.

Do you like yourself? Do you think you have qualities that others like about you? Do you think there are things that others will criticise you for? Is there something about you that others make fun of or bully you for?

 

Well first I'll say that it is really courageous of you to post that because it's not easy to open up like this.
I could tell you how none of those things really matter, just the same as anyone else can but it wouldn't make any difference if you don't believe it yourself. At your age, I hated my body and I knew I was 'ugly'. Even my own mum told me I wasn't the ugliest person but I was no Brad Pitt! Obviously I'm still the same person with the same face but now when I look in the mirror I see a different person.

There are a few things I can suggest for you to try. The first thing is self affirmation. That crazy thing that you see on TV when somebody tells themselves how amazing they are in the mirror. There are a few ways to do it but believe me, it really can work. It doesn't have to be in the mirror, it can just be saying something out loud or even just written down to start with. Try it with something simple like "I am happy being me". You don't even have to believe it but the more you do it, the better you will feel.

For general confidence, make sure you start every day making an effort to look good (even if you don't think you look good).
Sit or stand up straight and walk with purpose.
Always try to be at the front in class or at events.
If there is a group discussion, try to say at least one thing every time, even if it isn't very much.
Compliment other people when you meet them.

Do you exercise, play any sport etc?
Do you try and eat healthy foods?

 

I only ask because, the better you look after yourself by exercising, eating good food and looking after your health, the more you will appreciate your own value and self worth.
Think of it like, if somebody else told you how amazing you are every day and treated you with so much respect, you would feel really good because of it.
So why can't the first person to make you feel that way be you?

 

In my opinion, there is no "too late" time to come out. Maybe it's "too late" if you live well into adulthood and deprive yourself of social/dating opportunities or lie to yourself.

It is possible to come out "too early" if you are not legally an adult (age 18) or don't fully understand the social implications of living as an openly gay person.

Whether your life is affected negatively depends upon your friends' and relatives' attitudes toward GLBT people / issues.

The advice to wait until age 18 has to do with legal adulthood and independence, which is most important for people who have UNsupportive parents.

A minor isn't legally permitted to make all living decisions for him/herself, and homophobic parents can legally impose damaging decisions on their gay teen (such as enrolling them in ex-gay 'therapy,' taking away financial support and/or transportation, or restricting contact with GLBT-friendly people).

Whereas if you're legally an adult, your parents no longer have the legal right to impose those things on you, but you would have to stand on your own with your own job, transportation, apartment, bank account, credit cards, etc. if they issue an ultimatum. At least in the US, there are additional restrictions on employment for minors, making it even more difficult to earn a living due to limited hours, obligation to attend school, etc.

Against this legal backdrop, I'm surprised anyone comes out before turning 18 and heading off to college. In addition, the social atmosphere is likely more LGBT-friendly in a college/university setting than in a high school (though this varies by location and educational institution).

 

SillyGoose, Calf gave you some great advice. I will try and add a few more ideas as well. First off take pride in your appearance. Keep well groomed, brush your teeth and floss take daily showers wear deodorant you get the idea, just be clean. Try and find a new hair style to wear, you can try different styles etc. try updating your wardrobe with some new clothes if you want. Last but not least hit the gym, you may not want to at first but once you get into it and start making progress you'll be glad you did. You will start feeling good about yourself as you see the results, and people will start to take notice. You also talked about eating healthy and that goes along with the exercising. Just trying to give you a few ideas man. You don't have to do all that but just take pride in yourself and you will start to feel motivated about yourself. Good luck !