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MtF coming out letter to my parents, plz give advice!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by InternetFairy, May 1, 2016.

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  1. InternetFairy

    InternetFairy
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Hey everyone. I made a thread yesterday asking for advice on who to come out to, but I decided to just go for this instead xD So, I have decided to come out as transgender to my mum & dad through a letter. I have no idea how to give them this letter though (should i email it, give it straight to them when I can, etc.) so please give me some help with that. I am pretty sure the reaction from my dad will not be a good one, so I'm kinda stressed out :tears: Here is the letter, please give me as many tips as you can to help me make this go as well as it can <3

    Dear mum & dad, I know this may be a huge surprise, and the first time you have thought of me this way, but I am transgender. Please don't think this is anyone's fault, or just something I will grow out of, as it almost certainly isn't.

    For the past 3 years or so, I have been uncomfortable with my gender - both with its role in society, and my body. I started looking into this about 2 and a half years ago and that's when I discovered transgender people.When I looked into this, it explained certain feelings and actions from when I was much younger, too. It's taken a while to come to terms with, but basically, I'm a girl in a guy's body!

    I know this is a lot to ask, but I would prefer it if you could start referring to me as female pronouns, and let me transition into living how I have felt like I should be living for a long time now - as a girl.

    You are the only people to know about this currently, and i would prefer if you could just keep it between us three for now. I plan to tell (my brothers) about this very soon, but I figured they would take me more seriously if you both already knew.

    Hopefully you can accept me for who I truly am, but if it takes time, I'm willing to wait. It took me a long time to accept this too. Please don't think you are losing a son, because it's more like that you have always had a secret daughter! I'm still the same person on the inside, and I love you both lots.
     
    #1 InternetFairy, May 1, 2016
  2. Aberrance

    Aberrance
    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That sounds pretty good to me. I might suggest writing a paragraph on what you want to happen in the future/where you see yourself e.g. hormones and getting to a gender clinic eventually if that's what you want to happen. Also explain the feelings you mentioned you had to try to make them more empathetic and see how this has been affecting you.

    As for how to give it to them I would say printing it out and handing it to them, having them read it in front of you and then talking about it straight after would be the best because otherwise they have a chance to ignore it. Also I'd think about whether you tell them separately or together because parents often 'gang up' together when they don't agree/are uncomfortable with some things so you might get a more negative reaction if you tell them together as they'll play off each other's feelings. As you think your mum will have a better reaction than your dad maybe tell her first and have her support when you tell him? I hope it all goes well for you!
     
    #2 Aberrance, May 1, 2016
  3. InternetFairy

    InternetFairy
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    Thanks so much! Very valid points. I'll keep them in mind.
     
    #3 InternetFairy, May 1, 2016
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