help me help myself? huh?

I think he means dat.. u cant just expect him too help u, u need to help urself.. like..ermm..i dunno how to say it sorry:icon_sad:

 

the only way you can get better is for you to want to get better and for you to help yourself. i suggest two things: 1. get a better therapist. yours appearently sucks. 2. i've been in ur place. it's possible to get better. sooo... check out this to talk about wiht your NEW therapist: http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/ (DO NOT go to the forums on this site or any other site for depression it'll only make you worse.)

 

It's next to impossible to console someone who's depressed if they don't want to be helped. I was that way for a good long while, and when you're really down in the dumps, it only makes it harder and harder to accept help. Before you can get better, you need to know that you can think positively, that your current emotional state isn't you and that in reality, there's something wrong with you that you have to fix. You need to want to feel good about yourself and your life before you can actually feel better, and you need to accept the help of others, too. If someone tells you your strong points, don't fight him/her. Take what they say into consideration, and admit to yourself that you really do have these strong points, your mind is just clouding you.

If you'd prefer more personalized help, feel free to PM me anytime ^^ I didn't even think it was possible to brighten my mood, but now, I can actually feel good about myself! You can get better, but the only person who can start this change is you.

 

O thx for da wensite its very useful.. even tho it werent ment for me:icon_bigg

 

yeah i thought it was cool. appearently i have schiz., BP and OCD. and i was only diagnosed with the first two^).

 

As a person who was in a deep state of depression a while ago, I can speak from my own experiences. By comparing my experiences to others, you really get the feeling for how varied depression is. What your friend might be saying might not really relate fully to you. Your depression is unique to you, because you're a unique individual. That's not saying though, that you shouldn't be open to his suggestions and take in all the love and compassion he's trying to share to help yourself.

Only you can truly master your own emotions. Until you come to terms with yourself and make a firm mental commitment to improve yourself, it will be hard for others to help you. You need to make the first step, and be ready to improve. I know, it sounds so strange, not ready to get out of depression, but that could very well be the case. No one likes being depressed, I hated it. But don't let your depression force you into a hole where you're too dejected and upset to try to improve yourself and listen to others. It's a hard journey alone, which is why I'm happy you have friends to help you through it, but their support can only go so far. You need to take steps to improving yourself, and allow them to do just that - support you.

As for your comment about counselors, all psychologists or guidance counselors are different. If you don't feel your counselor is working for you, then you shouldn't stay with him/her. Seek out a new person who fits more with you. Like I said, you're a unique person with your own tastes, and sometimes people just aren't compatible with each other.

At a point, you might consider taking medication. At this point, you should really take a step back. Medication isn't the answer to everything, contrary to widespread modern beliefs. Medication is a huge commitment, and not a great one. It's something you'll have to continue taking for either the rest of your life, or you'll have to go down the challenging path of quitting the medication. I've read some scary stories about people coming off depression meds, and it is not fun. For all these reasons, I would highly recommend AGAINST medication, unless a psychiatrist firmly believes it will help you in a major way.

Just remember through your depression that people out there love you and care for you. No matter what your mind may try to tell you, always acknowledge this, and it can truly act as a guiding light out of the darkness of depression.

Things will get better.

<3

Ryan

 

Omg i hav schiz.....moderate anxiety n moderate mania..dats not gooooooooooood:tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears:

 

I've also been there, and it is REALLY HARD to see a path in front of you. But its there, and thats where the help comes in - either from your therapist or friends or family or othere or all of the above!!!

I'd also agree that if your therapist doesn't appear to be helping, try another. Its nothing personal, and who cares if their feelings are hurt? Its you that needs the help - not them.

I ALSO agree that depression is different for everyone - it is rooted in different things and affects us in different ways. However, I'll share something that has helped me...

Focus on today.

Today is the only day that you can do anything about. You can't fix the things that you regret from yesterday (any of your yesterdays) and you can't have any impact on what might happen tomorrow (or next week or next year...). You can only have an impact on today.

I found myself wallowing in self pity about the past, and worrying myself silly about the future - or predicting that it didn't hold enough promise to be bothered with 'the future'. That's a self fulfilling prophecy if there ever was one! If you think tomorrow's going to be crappy, it will be. If you can't help but think tomorrow is going to be crappy, then just don't think about tomorrow.

I know this isn't a solution - but it may be a small tool that you can think about when things seem overwhelming - as they did for me.

Good luck - and I'll also offer like SG did - PM me if you want to chat any more about this with me personally! We're all here to help!

 

Like the others have said, depression affects everyone differently, so in some regards, the scale of it is really what you make of it in some regards. Personally, I find a good deep introspective time is the only thing that'll pull me out of a funk. What I mean by that is that, eventually, I have to figure out what's making me depressed in the first place, and then take some time to regain perspective on my life. Either I'll remember life ain't so shitty after all, or I'll figure out that I can fix the problem and then go do that. When I hit my last little funk, I realized I was getting burned out with my job, so I took a week off and took a road trip. Sitting on the edge of a 100-foot bluff overlooking the Mississippi River with nothing but my thoughts made me remember that I have a lot of good things going on in my life-good friends, a nice car, and a job that, although it's not exactly what I want to do, IS in my chosen field and pays well. Coming out of the closet took good care of the crash before that.

Your friends CAN help you. They might not have that magic bit of sage advice, but the listening is a huge help. If you want, you are welcome to PM me with anything else. I'll be happy to help.

 

I wouldn't limit yourself to 'think happy thoughts'... I was told that about 7 years ago, and while it worked for a while, it didn't get me through what the real underlying issue was. It is important to eventually get to what the root cause of your depression is.

However, it's also important not to be overwhelmed with our problems, or what we might have to do to address the underlying problem. Thats where the positive attitude, and trying to stay focussed on today comes in.

I'm glad you found it useful to share, and to hear from others. It really is important to know that you're not alone in your struggle - whatever that struggle might be. We're all here to help. (*hug*)

 

I know how you feel. I really do. I wish I could help you, but you know, I am far away. I do everything I can but sometimes it is not enough...

You know what I feel for you and you know, too, that you are not alone. There are others willing to help you, all the people here, and of course me. *hugs*

If you want to talk, I'm here for you, and I will always be. Never forget that.

Fred.

 

And that is the right answer! If you need anything, you know that everyone here, including me, will help in whatever capacity we are able. In the meantime, stay strong!