Okay so, I've been questioning whether I should come out in high school for a very long time and I wanted to ask you guys your opinion and recommendations on this. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one going through this. So here's some info on my situation: At my school, we have these rules where we can't bully others ( doesn't every school tbh xD ), including lgbt people, but I see a lot of people ( including me, but it wasn't because of my sexual orientation ) being bullied anyways, despite the rules and such. And even when they're caught, the bullies tend to continue afterwards. A while ago, I heard a guy in my class calling one of his friends gay ( in a bad way ) and I don't know if it was a joke or anything but I felt really offended. I didn't dare to interfere because, well, he was one of those really tall and muscular guys that would beat you up if you got in their way. My best friend is one of the popular kids in the school and everyone knows him because they think he's gay, which he isn't. I asked him if he got bullied because of that and he said not really, but that a guy was picking on him and calling him names. I'm coming out to more and more of my friends, especially those who I usually eat lunch with, but I always make sure they won't tell anyone else and keep it to themselves ( reason below ). The main problem ( you could say ) I have is that my dad is super homophobic. And he could ( and I said could, but I'm not sure ) find out by a girl at my school who would tell her parents and her parents would tell mine. Apparently, my mom ( we're like best friends so we trust each other a lot, I don't think she would be lying about this ) said that if he did find out, he could stop my internet, take away all my electronic devices, not allow me to invite girls or go to a girl's house, transfer me to another school (?) , and more. So if all the school ended up knowing about me being a lesbian, the girl will know and then my dad will ( probably ). I know how horrible and stressful it is to stay closeted and I definitely do not want to stay like this for too long, but some people say that I shouldn't come out because nobody actually cares and that they don't want to know while others say that I should because it's important to be yourself and stuff so I'm sooo confused on what I should do. I've talked about this in previous posts and I wanted to make it an actual thread so others could discuss about it. Thx for reading all of this, I appreciate it A LOT
You should always come out for yourself. It's nobody elses concern. By coming out you release a weight that will burden you for years. Only except the weight is more like a constant minor annoyance. You need to decide if getting that off you is worth losing your freedom to do whatever you want and when you want. And from the sounds of it I'd reccommend keeping quiet especially due to your young age and shy nature. Being out requires confidence that you can handle whatever will be thrown at you.
If you know that your dad is going to react badly, it's safer to put off coming out until you have more control over your own life. When I came out, my father disowned me and cut me off completely...it hurt a lot, but I was a self-supporting adult living on my own. He had no power over me, he couldn't order me to do anything or take things away from me. I know how difficult and frustrating it is to be in the closet, but I think you should be very careful right now and only come out to people that you absolutely trust.
I think it's good you've come out to some friends that you trust. It's also great that you want to be able to be fully yourself around others. Maybe it would be best to wait on that though. It definitely helps a ton to have at least one friend you can be fully yourself around. You may find in the future you want to tell more, but for right now the costs probably outweigh the benefits unfortunately. It's sad that you have to think about it like that in today's society, but it's probably best. Remember, your safety (both physical AND emotional) comes first <3
Being in the closet to your family sucks. I know first-hand. The only thing I could add to what the others said is to possibly wait until you're financially independent so your dad can't turn your life upside down. I'm really sorry you have to put up with this, no one should. However, on the bright side, I found this song yesterday, Everyone Is Gay: [YOUTUBE]0VG1bj4Lj1Q[/YOUTUBE] I didn't cry at all.
Thx guys! Well I'll follow what you said and stay a while longer closeted until I'll be living on my own or something. Thx for everything again! And also Shadd, that video you sent, I actually downloaded it on my phone, it's one of my favorite songs xD
