Hello guys I keep considering coming out to my Mom, but she always drops a homophobic comment when our conversation gets the the LGBT topic. Ex: Mom: "Sooo... What girl do you like in school? At least, which one grabs your attention?" Me: "I don't have a crush on any girl. I said this so many times!" Mom: "Oh so you like a guy!? (Shocked, not mad)" Me: "What the f*** mom!" (Trying to hide my homosexuality) Mom: "Well... I hope you're not gay... (calmly). Anyway if you were, there would be nothing i can do about it... So... What do you think? By the way I am 13 years old... So im not ready for something big. I would appreciate any advice. Thank you ~Sam ride:
That is a seriously loaded conversation. I see how you could be left wondering, if your mum doesn't want you to be gay, then why did she suggest it? When she said "I hope your not gay", why do you think she said that, have you asked her why she thinks that? That she said "if you were, there would be nothing I can do about it" seems reasonably positive. Do you have an idea of her view on gay people in general? I've said it a few times lately but try not to forget that your mum is only a person like the rest of us and just as likely to say the wrong thing or express herself poorly. What do you think would be the worst and best case outcome if you told her?
I wouldn't say your mam is homophobic, given how she indicated that she would still accept you. Some parents don't like the thought of their children being gay not because of homophobia, but because they're afraid of not having grandchildren. This can be especially true if you're an only child. Sometimes it be can a bit of the 'Fear of the Unknown', in that she doesn't really know that much about LGBT+ and is a bit wary because of it. Either one can be overcome by educating her on LGBT+ facts and issues. A third option might be that she's just afraid that you'll be bullied and discriminated against for being gay. While that is an understandable fear, you can assure her that it's not as bad as she thinks. Whatever way she's thinking, she still seems accepting, so you shouldn't have any worries about coming out to her, beyond the usual nervousness. Just educate yourself a bit before you do it and you should be A okay! Hope it goes well!
She doesn't seem very homophobic but it isn't a race to come out. Come out when your ready and when it's safe to do so.
