Last November I decided to come out to my parents. It was slightly ambiguous the way I came out: most of it was "um" and "erm" but I managed to squeezed out a "I kind of like guys...". I didn't really specify whether I was gay or bi, but I think they got the idea and tried to convince me that I was just going to a phase that will eventually sort itself out when I grow up. Six months later, I am still going through my "phase" and I don't feel like I'm going to "become straight" any time soon. Since I first quasi-came-out to my parents, I have come out to quite a few close friends as bi. However, as much as I am sure I am bi, my parents are still just as adamant that I will straighten out. The worst thing is that even though my parents and I argue about my sexuality all the time, we never actually directly say "gay", "bi" or "straight". Instead, we always find ways of indirectly attacking each other with jabs that hint at my bisexuality - it's weird. The main reason for this is that I have a 12 year old sister (I'm 16 btw) and I don't really want to come out to her because I think she is too young/immature to understand. My parents also don't want her to know in case I "corrupt" her. Ironically, I thought my parents denial and avoidance of the topic would just be a "phase", but they don't seem to want to stop denying it. What is the best way to deal with parents in denial? Should I just give up or should I persevere in addressing the elephant in the room - as big as may be?
Hmm... this can definitely be frustrating to deal with. When I was still trying to understand and come to terms with my sexuality, my parents inadvertently found out I liked guys, but they assured that it was "just a phase" and seemed to just assume I was still straight. They understand now, but some parents are still more "set" about it. I would say that this is going to require a proper sit down and conversation with no ambiguity. State that you know a lot more about your own sexuality than they do, and that you know for definite that you are bi. Tell them that all of this doubting is hurting you, and that there's nothing wrong with being bi. That's kind of the ideal situation and I understand if this all sounds too much, but the point still stands that for a situation like this (especially with being bi, given the misconceptions about it being a "phase") a lack of ambiguity is crucial. Sorry if this is a bit too much to ask of you, but good luck any way you go about it!
Although I am still not 100% certain of my bisexuality (I'm on 90%), I am much more confident than when I carried out my botched operation of coming out last November. The main problem of having a non-ambiguous conversation is that both parties are fixed in their views: I am almost certain my sexuality won't change (at least by much) when I grow older and my parents are convinced I am a confused kid who hasn't met the "right girl". How do you try and convince someone so fixed in their views? Also I have the addition problem of public exams coming up and coming out (again) will probably be frowned upon by my parents but that is what I think about half the time anyway. What do I do?
I hate the "right [insert opposite-gender here]" argument. It's so condescending... I'm sorry to hear that they're so stubborn! The fact that they bring that up shows that they think you are incapable of "understanding" yourself and indicates a lack of respect for you. I'd say educating them about bisexuality would be the best option. There are plenty of websites filled with LGBT info, you could print off some relevant articles to give to them when you re-come out. A major part of their doubt may also stem from your lack of confidence the first time, so if you have a greater confidence now that should definitely help. From your original post I would say they seem almost afraid to acknowledge the matter themselves so it's up to you to be the forward one. Sorry if I can't offer any more advice, but I hope this helps!
