What's your opinion on coming out to people (religious parents who don't really support LGBT in my case) via email or a coming out letter? I don't live at home so they can't kick me out or anything (they wouldn't anyway) but I think they might be very disappointed with me when I tell them I think I like girls. Anyway, I communicate better in writing and would feel much more comfortable coming out that way but I haven't really heard of many people coming out like that. The only drawback I can see would be that I won't be able to see their reaction and facial expressions/body language. Any thoughts on this? Also, is it OK to come out even if you're not completely sure of your sexuality yet? I mean, is it OK to tell them I think I like girls but that I'm not sure if I'm bi or gay and that I sometimes worry that maybe I'm imagining it all (though that's probably just anxiety)? I'm going through something really difficult right now and desperately want to talk to my mum and get her advice, but that means I need to come out and even though I'm not sure I'm ready for it, it's something I'm considering. Thanks. ---------- Post added 8th May 2016 at 08:05 PM ---------- Oh and I'm aware coming out doesn't necessarily mean I will be able to talk to my mum about my current situation since I know she's not really supportive of LGBT, but I really hope that her love for me will be more important than my sexual orientation.
You should come out the way you feel comfortable and when you feel comfortable. So if it's what you want, go for it. Just make sure you explain since you can't directly answer to their reactions and want to prevent misunderstandings. And I've heard of many people who came out through letters/e-mails/text messages. It's not strange or anything. Good luck
Come out when your ready. You don't need to specifically say if your gay or bi just say u like girls. Good luck
I came out to my parents and all my friends by letter. Like you I prefer writing; that way I can sort out my thoughts better. Go for it if that's what you feel more comfortable with!
Sometimes writing lets it sink in. Maybe you don't want to answer questions right away or feel it might get heated. I came out to my parents over the phone... and not in a way I wanted to. I came out to my other friends face to face. Didn't try writing myself but I see the value in it.
Thank you for the replies. I started writing a coming out letter today but now I'm sitting here, almost feeling sick, and feeling like I can't do this to my parents. I don't know how I'm going to be able to tell them that not only did I have sex with guys (and not liking it) several times even though I'm not married (my parents are Christians and expect me to abstain from sex until marriage, even though I'm pretty sure they suspect that's not the case for me and wouldn't be super upset about it) but that I also think I'm into girls. I don't know how they're going to forgive me. I can picture my parents, especially my mother, reading the letter and crying. Maybe I'm doing this too soon. Maybe I should wait. Maybe it'll change. Maybe I'll wake up one day and I'll be able to forget everything about girls (unlikely, but still). Ugh. This is difficult and I'm scared.
You don't need to tell them about your sex life. That's your business. You don't need to have sex to figure out your sexuality. It seems to me that you don't feel ready though. That's okay, I thought I was ready to tell my parents and it turned out to be wrong. Just take your time and find your own way of coming out. It's your journey after all I guess it's scary and difficult for most of us, even for those who have accepting parents. But you'll manage to come out at one point and accept yourself fully.
I wouldn't tell my parents about the whole sex thing in the letter. I just want to be able to explain the situation I'm in with my boyfriend (I don't want to have sex with him) but maybe that's not a good idea. I don't know. Anyway, I agree that I don't feel ready. Did it take long for you to accept yourself?
Yes, because I thought for years that I had to choose and that bisexuality didn't exist. As soon as I realized that it is okay, I was happy with being who I am. Coming out is still difficult though because of the fear of rejection and the whole heteronormativity of society. But that will pass. Everything gets easier with time.
