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is it actually possible to not be gay?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by atomic dorito, May 9, 2016.

  1. atomic dorito

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    I like women so much, and my attraction to guys is very minimal. i'm like 97% gay and only 3% straight if you wanted to look at it that way. but..... i know my parents and family would prefer it if i were straight.... is there a way for me to stop liking girls and only like guys? or at least a way to lessen my attraction to them? only wondering here. :help:
     
  2. BookWriter1994

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    You know.. It's 2016 and you should be able to date who you want! You can do whatever you want! Don't let people tell you what you can or cannot like!
     
  3. Katchoo

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    I can speak to this as a person who really tried to be straight for overy a decade... Though sexuality and gender for some people naturally vary over time, there is nothing we can really do to make it change. And, our attempts to change it sends the messages to ourselves that who we are is not good enough and we should be ashamed. And, even for those of us with a smidgen of opposite sex capacity, feeling like we have to hide our same sex attraction is chronically shaming and bad for our mental health.

    Safety first, though. If you would not be safe coming out yet, dont. Better to be safe in the closet than out on the street.

    You are not sick, and you are not broken. Who you are is good. I'm proud of you for being brave enough to learn about yourself. (*hug*)
     
    #3 Katchoo, May 9, 2016
    Last edited: May 9, 2016
  4. Fromslahen

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    Sexuality isn't something we can change at will, even if you are bi. While you might find yourself preferring one gender, you still aren't straight. Pretending is only going to cause you greater pain in the long run, so it's best to be honest with yourself, especially if as you say you don't feel much attraction to guys. Ignore external sources and think about yourself when it comes to sexuality. If the people around you can't cope with something out of your control, they are the ones that are at fault, and you don't owe them anything.
    No matter what, YOU have to be happy with yourself.
    Sorry if I went a bit overboard!