So I'm stuck in this closet for the rest of my life.

Why would they not take you seriously? Nah, it won't look that way. It might if you tell everyone about your dad then mention you're a lesbian though. That'd probably be the first thought in my mind.

 

Oh okay, then in that instance just tell them not to think that. You had feelings for women before this mess started and it's nothing that your father contributed towards.

 

I would see how well your therapist deals with glbt issues and patients. if you find that she is ok and good with it, then i would mention it to her that you (also, just in case you want to play being bi and test the waters) like girls. she may be able to help you come out to your family if you so choose!
Hope this helps!
Metta

 

Crap went down with my father too. I was concerned about people thinking the same thing you are worried about them thinking. While not out to my immediate family, my friends never said anything to the effect of "does this have anything to do with your father?" My friends are very aware of my situation. My cousin is also fully aware of pretty much everything that went down with him, and never questioned.

I'm not trying to say that it will be a complete non-issue, but throwing out that it probably won't be quite as large a hurdle as it seems right now.

 

awww... i totally understand what your going through;; had similar cases like when my mom goes like i'm gonna make a double marriage when you and your bro graduate from universities and pick a nice wife ... i got many nice wifes for you my son D:!! i i understand how you feel when you talk about different sexs (men in ur case). hmm...well right now you don't have to come out since its a bad time (divorce) and why are you forcing your self to comeout? its not like you have to have to come out now right ? plus i suggest not to do so since your mom and brother might take it in a different way (different results from what you expect) and your mom will start crying and acting emo (most mom do so trust me) like why its a sin blah blah blah and plus it will be a second hit for her . she will go like OMG this is the worst year my daughter is a gay and i'm getting divorce so i would advice you to to rather support her for the time being . hope my advice helps you ^^
feel free to message me if you need further help

 

I dont know any "amazing fix" or anything, but it might help for you to know that "overbearing mothers" dont turn people into fairy fruitcakes and "horrible abusive fathers" dont turn people into butch man-haters This has been proven to not be the case by many, if not all, respected medical associations. The way i look at it is that you have the upper hand here. You KNOW how they are going to most likely re-act. You can prepare a bullet proof argument against it before you do come out! (*hug*) Get together 1) all the facts against this common "theory". Online resources are great. 2) prepare your personal argument. You KNOW this is not why, so figure out how in your own words you will express your feelings.

Hope this helps somewhat?

 

Hello, I have worked in the social work field for almost 9 years now and just about everyone I know is a therapist. Therapy is a place to talk about how you really feel, a therapists job is to listen to your feelings, support you and lead you to making healthy decisions. In no way should a therapist ever tell you that you are wrong, or make a judgement against you. She/he may ask you if you think being gay has to do with your dad but answer honestly and tell your true feelings. The therapist should take your answer as the truth and try and help you understand these feelings. Just a word of caution make sure you have full confidentiality with your therapist and that she does not have to report to your mother (all therapists are mandated reporters and must report abuse, neglect, or self injurious behavior/suicidal ideation but that is just for your safety teachers nurses ect are also madated reporters). You are a minor and your mom may have signed a consent. Just ask "is this info shared with my mom" she/ he will have to tell you if they plan on sharing the information. Most therapists are great and just want to help but I also know some can be unprofessional. So just keep that in mind...if this one does not work for you tell your mom you want another therapist for your one on one therapy. Good luck -jen

 

Wow. You look pretty Jangle.

 

I think it would be good to tell the therapist. Because if you approach it correctly, I think she'll understand. IF you say "I dunno - I think I might just be a lesbian", that sounds like "I've decided not to deal with guys." But if you say, "Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian. I started realizing this several years ago, and I kept assuming it was some sort of phase - maybe because of my dad. But now I realize that this is really how I am." The therapist presumably will want to ask some questions to feel sure about this, but she should be able to see that no - you're not a "Man-hater".

Lex