I have been in a relationship with another woman for the last 15 months, up until meeting her I had had my suspicions about my sexuality but never really acted on them. It was only when I met my current partner that I was able to begin to admit to myself who I really am. I have always been very close to my family and still live at home with my parents, but although they have met my partner on many occasions they are unaware that out relationship is anything more than that of friends. I am 31 now and now feel the need for my family know that bit more about me and also the relationship I am in. I am concerned about the best way to handle this as I don't want them to feel deceived. I am also really bad at difficult conversations, particularly with my parents! Does anyone have any advice or any similar experience that would help me know the best way to approach this? Thank you
You have two choices, you could either just let them figure it out for themself, you might even do and say things that would give them reason to suspect. Then once they have figured it out, confirm it for them. The other option is to just sit them down and come right out and say it. This is what I did, when I was 18. But, I don't have a problem speaking my mind. Then again who says you have to say anything? Let them think what they will, and only tell them if you feel they NEED to know.
Thanks for the reply. My relationship is now stalling because of my reluctance to come out to my parents. She has said she needs to take a step back as she can't cope any more with us being a secret. I really don't want to lose her and the dreams I have for us in the future. But the thought of coming out to my parents terrifies me. Feel completely stuck right now.
Hi Molly, I suggest you post this on the later in life board. There's a lot of us over there coming out in our 30s, so you'll probably see advice from more people in your situation. As far as coming out to your family, what are their views on being LGBT? Do you suppose they will mostly be supportive to you? I suggest writing down what you want to say to think it through, plan out responses to questions you expect. And start by coming out first to the person you expect to be most supportive. You could also have a supportive friend come along with you to offer encouragement when you come out.
I think the hardest part here, is the fact that you still live with your parents. I was 25 and in a relationship for almost a year before I came out to my parents. The reason I chose to wait so long was because I wanted to be as independent of them as possible. For several reasons; I wanted them to have their own space to talk about it, I wanted my own space to not have to deal with any awkwardness about who I was inviting over where I was going etc, and also for safety just in case they were to cut me off. I don't know your reason for still living at home, but depending on how your parents react, it could jeaprodize your living situation. I too chose to come out to my parents because I didn't want that to hold back my relationship. It really is a relief once you do tell them. I was amazed at how much pressure it took off of my shoulders and my relationship when I finally came out to them. It sounds like the best thing for your relationship and your future is to come out to your parents so you can move forward with your partner. I think you can either "sit down and have the talk" or you can find a way to lead conversation into it. It really depends on what type of people your parents are. Just make sure you do have a safety net just in case they react negatively. Best of luck! Be confident in yourself!!
