So, a certain topic has come up a lot when my mother comes to visit. For some reason, she thinks I have a lot of mental problems. The list of things (ever growing.) contains things like ADHD, asbergers, schitzophrenia, autism, and many more such things. I don't know why she does it, but she just keeps telling me I should get myself diagnosed. I wouldn't say I'm all that well adjusted, due to a lot of bullying that happend since pre-school, but it still doesn't give her a reason to think all of that about me. Lately I've been wondering why she'll assume all this stuff about me, yet won't let me talk about myself with her (when stuff like the topic of my sexuality come up she'll avoid it like the plague.) I sometimes wonder if she saw her friends kid (who has ADHD and asbergers) and wanted a child like that, because her friend gets free money for looking after her child. Does my mom want me to be a little money bag, riddled with mental problems? I'm possibly thinking too much into it, but it's the way it looks to me.
ummm coming from someone who works primarily with autistic and asberger youth I highly doubt those disorders would have gone unrecognized in 18 years and you would have had alot of difficuly with school, social ect. Any even crappy school system can identify these with some ease. I wonder if your mom is trying to find a "reason for your being gay" to justify it to her. I mean if you think YOU need some help than please go and it doesnt hurt to have the testing done maybe there are some things that can help but most of those diagnosis are pretty clear cut. Maybe write her a letter or something explaining your feeling, and how you came to the conclusion you are gay (maybe she wont try and diagnose you) best of luck -Jen
Maybe she's afraid you might get it because of all the bullying in your childhood? Does your family have a history of mental illnesses? Maybe she knows about the medical history about your family and didn't want to tell you. And now that you're gone she's worried you might have a mental illness. I don't really know, I'm just guessing.
The only mentality in my family is my mom, but that comes from her childhood. It's nothing like autism, asbergers, etc. It's just that she... is sort of just crazy.
I would ponder a guess that the root of your 'problem' is your sexuality. The bullying, the depression, all the things that have been manifested in your personality. A lot of kids & adults are finding the letter writing to be a successful way of dialoguing with a loved one without the confrontation. Put your emotions on paper, be loving and kind, and be open and truthful. Temper it with love, seal it with a kiss and send it to your mom. We sometimes lose messages sent out to us because they are clouded in emotion and harsh words. I think your mom is messaging that she wants to talk, she just doesn't know how. That is coming from a father with two adult sons who don't know how to open up to me. Walk Proud.....
I'm autistic (diagonised) so coming from me I cannot judge if you are or not. There are so many levels of it. It's even worse than homosexuality. Homosexuality is like nothing compare to autism. I do think you do not have it because add and autism is completely different. I'm not out, and it doesn't root from autism.
It is hard to judge, but it is possible that she is just looking for a way to rationalise your sexuality, there must be something wrong with you and you need fixing. So you do need to talk to her, and I think as suggested by others, writing a letter is a good way of doing it if you can't have a proper conversation with her. Or you could just go see a therapist to shut her up, but I'd go for the letter option
