So, this is an update to my update... As some of you may know, my grandmother recently discovered I was gay through my brother in Iraq. The next day, my mom found out through my other brother(they can't keep their mouths' shut!). She wasn't really shocked, and was a little mad that I didn't tell her first. So, she was okay with it... I was on the phone with my aunt two days ago, and she told her husband(uncle in-law?) and he said he already knew. She said that he knew for a while....before I even knew!! I was shocked. She said "He doesn't give a shit, you're family". The next day, my brother, grandma, and me, ate at my aunt's house...no awkwardness!! :icon_bigg The only family member I have left to tell is my dad...let me give you a background story on him: My mom met my dad at my grandparents' used car lot in Nevada. My dad was a mechanic, he worked for my grandparents. He moved in with my mom, and they really loved each other. Then they had me. They weren't married, and they weren't engaged. After I was born, my dad started to get into drugs. He would go missing for a few days, and show up once in a while. When I was about three, my mom found my dad's drug stash. They got in a big fight, so she kicked him out of the house. She never heard from him again. When I was thirteen, I was thinking about the stories my mom used to tell me about my dad. I was locked up in my room(as always), staying up late on my computer. I decided to look up my dad's parents. Once I found a number, I called it. This lady answered(my other grandma). I asked her if she knew my dad(I asked for him by his name), and she said "Yes, that's my son. Why?". I told her that I was his son. She was quiet for a bit, and said "He doesn't have a son...". I thought I called the wrong number, but then I told her that he lived in Las Vegas and met my mom... And she said that he did live in Vegas for a while, but never said anything about a girlfriend or a son. I told her about myself, and about my dad doing drugs. She was crying, after she realized that I was her grandson. I learned that my dad was in the hospital because he was in a bad accident while he was cycling to work. I talked to him in the hospital, and we talked like we were best friends. It was pretty amazing how much we had in common. He lives in Arizonia. Since then, he's been in and out of hospitals and drug rehab clinics. One was because he tried to commit suicide... I went to see him for the first time in eleven years during Christmas 07, we didn't talk much. The last time I talked to him was in January 2008. I am still in touch with my other grandma, she visits him from time to time. I remember a few months ago, he tried to call me during school. I answered, and he didn't say anything. This was during school, too. I don't know how I'm going to tell my dad, or if I should even bother telling him... Help?
That story is the stuff they make heartbreakin' movies out of. You seem to have connected with your dad and it is not our place in this universe to judge each other. He really sounds like he wants to connect with you but I imagine his feelings of guilt and shame are overpowering him. If you really want to see him you already know what to do, maybe you'll be the one thing in his life he needs to turn around. Let him get to know you a bit before you spring your sexuality on him. By the way, I'm really happy for you and your maturity goes way beyond your years!......walk Proud,,,,Keith
I agree wholeheartedly with everything said by stilsurchin. There are some barriers to cross (him overcoming his guilt, you reconnecting with him) for you to establish a relationship with him, if you want to of course. Then after a bit, I'm sure you'll feel confident about coming out to him.
Thanks for the advice. You guys are right, he still feels very guilty about what he's done. I've already told him that everything was okay between us before. But every time we talk, he sounds a little hurt. I guess I'll just have to stay in touch with him more often, to build some trust between us.
