Coming out and the military

Welcome to EC!

You'll figure it out soon enough with some help from us.

 

First of all welcome to EC! Its a great place to hang out. I am not familiar with the British Forces, can someone be thrown out for being gay such as the US don't ask don't tell? That would be my first concern. Secondly, are you comfortable enough to talk about your sexuality to others also how do you think your colleagues will react?

 

Firstly welcome to EC and yes you will find a great group of people from all over the world to support you. Lots of folks from the UK here. I am a retired policeman but don't know of any active military on EC. I guess being in the military,you are a microcosm of society in that there are straight as well as LGBT members. Do you have any gay support systems inside the forces? That might be a good place to go for help. What is the Forces' view on gays in combat? Will that defer you from a transfer to Aghan? After everything settles, you'll probably be talking to ms. chatterbox also. I'm sure that you will get thru this with our help and maybe some understanding members of the Forces. Hang in there, you can't find a better place for support......

 

Yup I spent 20 years in the Police Force, in the closet. Hopefully you'll have a chance to do different. I left a post on your wall, by the way....Cheers!

 

Good question, I have a friend who is in the Canadian military and he is totally out to everyone. On the whole he has recieved support from all military personnel including his superiors. I can recount one or two times when he said he was harrassed although it was off ship at a bar when everyone was drinking. Fortunatly harrassment for being gay is not tolerated in the Canadian military. I know of several other gay people in the Canadian military who are out and are accepted. I can understand that it would be very hard to come out in this type of situation, but I imagine it is important to be confident and stand up for yourself.

 

Hey, welcome to EC!


I dont really know anything about being gay/bi in the armed forces, but it looks like you've got some good feedback so far.

 

Hi Gaz,

Can only really speak from my experience of the TA (I know STAB).. anyways, what I managed to pick up really is that the whole homophobic attitude appears to be more prominent amongst Infantry these days, than the corps. Can I assume that you're infantry?

Either way, just be yourself mate. Don't let any slur get you down and follow the principle that if they are your true mates then they'll stick by you. After all, the Army is one place where you'll make mates for life. Stick to your guns, and then when you're back on tour, and the bullets start flying.. your sexuality really won't seem to matter any more.

Hope all goes well for you anyways!

 

Hello and welcome to the EC

 

It's probably impossible to compare the British Forces to the US military, but I know the U.S. is pretty homophobic. That said, the Don't Ask Don't Tell bullshit seems to permit homophobia without repercussions, so there's nothing to deter it.

It depends who you are and where you're from though. I have 7 friends in the US military, only one of which I'm out to, but none of them are homophobic (I guess I chose my friends wisely before ever knowing I was gay). But the one who knows I'm gay has told me outright a lot of guys in there are homophobes. A lot of times guys tend to spew bullshit to up their street cred and sound tough, thinking no one they know is actually gay or bi, and would change their tune if they found out a friend was.

I wouldn't worry too much if you haven't heard any shit from people. Plus you look like youre well built from your pics icon_bigg) , that doesn't hurt. In fact the Marine buddy I'm out to totally shamed some dude on his base in Iraq recently cause the guy was going on about how unnatural and sick the gays are and that there's something wrong with my friend for being cool with his friend (me) being gay. My buddy, who's pretty well built, goes "Or how about I just cave your fucking face in?" The dumbass knew he didn't stand a chance and walked away red-faced, haha.

 

I know one gay guy in the (Belgian) army. He's very open about it too. And he has rarely had any trouble for it. Some not-so-funny quips maybe, but nothing serious. And the several other people I know in the army (my brother amongst them) don't have any trouble with it whatsoever.

Homophobic comments can be a bit hard to interpret. I've found they don't always indicate a homophobic mindset. For many they're used as some sort of male bonding ("us real men, against the world of women and fags, raaaawrr!" :icon_wink). And even if they are homophoibic in general, quite a few people still stand by their friends (and create a sort of double think: gays are still awful, but not their friend. He's a cool guy that just happens to be gay).

 

Hey mate, i dont know anybody in the military but usually is mostly the fact that people dont know about other sexual orientations which lead to homophobic comments. I think the guys and gals who are close to you wont really care and it may enlighten them to your situation. Oh and welcome to EC, its great to have you here and so proud of all the work u and the rest of the armed forces are doing!

 

^^ amen to that^^ Support the Troops!!!

 

Hi Gaz,
First,welcome to our EC family. I think that you're a strong person ,who can and will deal with this in a positive way. I think a lot of people who are/appear homophobic,don't really know any gay people.
Once they do know,they're usually surprised that we all have more in common with them ,then differences. I hope all goes well for you. I'm sure with your great attitude,you'll be just fine. Mickey*

 

anyway bud, I think looking at your pics there has probably been more than just the queer soldiers casting a glance your way...Eyes front, soldier....ah to be single and 25 again...stop that!

 

I 2nd that and I want his dogs :icon_bigg