I have a counsellor, and I want to come out as transgender so that she can properly help me with my anxiety (I think finding this out, the dysphoria and the discomfort in my own body has been a part of it.) The thing is, I have no idea how. I don't know what she'll say, and in all honesty I'm scared to death during the meetings. I want to open up, but it's difficult. Is this normal? And how would a counsellor react to these things, as I know they aren't supposed to judge you. How do I say it and open up? Would it be a good idea? I'm completely lost, and a lot of things are going on that I really want to talk about with her- but I'm too weak and afraid to say them.
You should get across the point that you did not choose to be transgender. There are many struggles, some social, and some personal, that you have to face as a transgender individual, and few would willingly put themselves into such a difficult situation. With this in mind, you can be relatively straightforward. Coming out to your parents might be harder, so you can treat this as practice. Just don't worry about it too much. Your counsellor should be accepting.
I agree with all of this. If you really want to tell your counselor, make it clear that it isn't a choice, maybe elaborate on your feelings (as in how long you've known, how you feel about being female and presenting as male) so that they can see that you are sincere. Counselors should be accepting and it is their job to talk you through your issues, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. If for some reason they have something against your identity, that may be a sign that you need to find a new counselor. Just come up with a rough idea of what you want to say and how you're going to explain it, and perhaps try and prepare some answers to potential questions you could be asked. I'm sure there's a lot of good general advice about coming out in other threads, so try using that. Great job for getting to this point, and I wish you the best of luck! (*hug*)
