I know it's wrong...

Sorry but uh...how do transsexuals have anything to do with the gay stereotype? :T

 

I dont think you should write off gay people all together, there are plenty of gay people who don't fit the limp wrist, flamboyant stereotype, many are straight acting and I'm sure you'll find someone that you're attracted to. It's just going to be a bit more difficult because it's easier for a gaydar to pick up someone who is flamboyant than it is for someone who is straight acting.

You have a type you're attracted to, you just need to have a bit of patience and hope that one day one of the guys you find sexy will turn out to be gay. I don't really know where you could find straight acting gay guys, if I did I'd be out there hitting on them. As for dealing with your crushes, as you yourself said, you know things can't go any further with them, so there's not much you can do there - just either ignore the feelings or enjoy them.

As for the Ellen thing, dunno what advice I can give you. I prefer Portia, and I do have a fair number of women that I find sexy and wouldn't kick out of bed (Patricia Arquette is my #1). I don't know how that happened

 

As Davo said, there are quite a few not-stereotypical gays out there. Perhaps in the same numbers as the limp-wristed ones. Also, they are usually the types that don't advertise it all that much.

Also, to make matters more confusing, not all limp-wristed men are gay. I know two people that I always assumed were gay, but turned out to be very much straight.

You just need to go out to more gay gatherings and see if there's someone there that interests you. The chance of a hot straight-acting (I'll use this term, though I have a general hate for it) guy coming along and confessing he's gay and in love with you are pretty slim otherwise.

And of course, then there's the fact that the forbidden fruit tastes the best... Don't know if there's anything you could do about that, though...

 

I'm not attracted to them either but I hate the voice- it's so ear grinding..

 

As the saying goes, crushing on straight guys exempts you from ever having to make a move.

Lex

 

OMFG! the same thing happens to me!!!!!!! all 3 guys ive ever had a crush on or thought was cute/hot have been straight! i hate it! all the gay men in my area that i come across are completely limp-wristed! i want a damn masculine man! is that too much to ask?! and the statistics show that only 1 in 5 gay men fit the stereotype. where the hell do i find the other 4?! have they come out yet? come out come out where ever u r!!!!!
*starts searching- calls sherlock homes*

 

u may not b too far off. i want a boyfriend so bad... well, next year in college should be liberating!

 

In the same boat as you...

I don't want to be with some girly guy, that's not what I want... But everywhere I look, that's all I can find.

What makes it harder is that I'm always decked out in black, so maybe some guys don't like that?

 

just today i was at target, and these gay guys walk by and what do u know? COMPLETELY effeminate. they even had the lisp. but not like im complaining- they were a couple, too old for me, and not ugly, but i wasnt attracted to them.
*turns to partner in crime-not relationship*
well, sherlock, the search continues. lol

 

Um, guys, be aware that this site has some of your brothers here that may walk a little lighter than you do. You sound like a group of queer bashing queers. Eh, What??? A little tolerance...

 

hey im not hating on my fellow gay man- whether they walk light or heavy. im just saying- i cant find a guy who im lookin for! but really, i kinda know a couple of guys(on the more feminine side) at my school (one likes me, but its not reciprical) and the other does announcements with me at school. they have a really good fashion sense... and good hair... never noticed till now. and there pretty nice but they dont know im gay. the one that likes me knows, but its not confirmed to him. wow, i went on a rant.

 

Dude,

I feel the exact same way every time I go to the gym. Oh my God, it's like there are hot, masculine guys everywhere:eek: But I know the vast majority of them are straight. Besides, nobody really strikes up a conversation at the gym with someone they don't know already.:icon_sad: Any yes, women like Ellen make me forget that they're women sometimes It's like I'm a lesbian gay man. :lol:

 

You honestly say that as if you despise the "'limp wrist' type" - whatever that supposedly means.

 

>>>There are people out there who hate the stereotypes and don't want to be identified as one by others so they don't really act 'gay' per say. I am one of those people. I am my own person, not some hollywood stereotype so I act opposite of what usually defines a 'gay' man.

So you're one of the rare breed - a "straight-acting" gay guy who actually IS "acting"?

I've got some "gay traits". There's that weird thing I do with my wrist when I point at things. And sometimes a high-pitched giggle comes out instead of a belly laugh. But there's other ways I'm more straight. I wear sports T-shirts and jeans most of the time. I've got a low-pitched voice, and don't care much for musicals.

But you know what? Who the fuck cares? I live my life as I see fit. And that goes both ways. I'm not going to stop cranking the punk rock because someone thinks it's not gay enough. But I'm also not going to stop cranking the Donna Summer because someone thinks I'm reinforcing the stereotype.

It's very common for people fresh out of the closet to have issues with femmy guys. They disdain them for being too girl-y ("I want a MAN, not a guy pretending to be a girl!"). They feel animosity for them, and blame them for homophobia ("If they would stop acting like such queens, straight people wouldn't hate gays!"). And, honestly, they fear them. They fear that if they "give in" to their homosexuality, that they'll end up being "one of them".

But here's the thing. Femmy guys kick ass. Because they've realized who they are, and what they are, and what makes them happy. And they're doing it. They're not "butching it up", hoping that nobody will make fun of them. They're not acting straight, since "gay guys aren't interested in girly guys". They're living the lives they want to, and if people make fun of them, screw 'em. No, I don't find femmy guys attractive in and of themselves. But I find guys who are confident enough to be themselves, and love themselves enough to be themselves, to be insanely attractive. Much more than a chiseled chest or a nice butt.

>>>nor do I fight for others equality

Well, thank God there are others who will do that heavy lifting for you, n'est pas? Because the very reason that there are sites like this, that many gays can live standard, (semi) normal lives is because we're standing on the shoulders of giants. And those giants were mainly drag queens and femmy guys. But hey, feel free to ride while the rest of us push. And let us know if the ride isn't going fast enough, K?

Lex

 

Goddamn Lex, you said what I was holding back because I didn't want to get involved in this schoolboy bullshit, but the freakin gloves are off boys and who wants a cuppa whoopass delt up?? You can take what Lex had the balls to say and throw my endorsement on it and then, for all you big tough 'straight faggots' out there, tack it up on your mirror to remind you what freakin community you belong to. Maybe go back and find the Thread I did on INTOLERANCE and read it cause one piss load of you didn't. I'm sorry I don't usually go ballistic anymore but you guys need a wake up call. I'd rather be around a queen any day than a shitty little prince. Forgive my language.....