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Why haven't I

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Crazyfoo, Mar 1, 2009.

  1. Crazyfoo

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    Why haven't I come out to people as not straight.

    My family would probably be the last to know, but I'm pretty sure they'll have to take it and be ok with it.

    First would be my friends. Some of the most amazing people I've ever meet.
    We're all so dfferent and openminded. If I told them I wasn't straight we would still be friends, but I don't think it would be the same.
    I have and they have a few gay friends and some straight friends who we often question their sexuality. But in the end we love them no differently.
    Most people can't pick up on my sexuality except for some of my really close female friends, or at least that's all the people who have confronted me about it. Of course I just denied it, but I never actually told them I was straight, but I never said I was gay/bi/curious or anything.

    The reason I haven't said I was gay is because I still hven't been with a girl and I want to be with one first before I tell people I'm gay/bi.
    I've had girls have crushes on me, but I'm just afraid to be with them because im afraid of finding out my true sexuality.
    (I know, it's like an infinite loop)
    I've been with a guy before, but I don't really know what to say about that. It was a drunk one night stand thing. He calls every now and then, but I don't know what to say.

    I guess what I don't like is that sexuality is the first thing people notice about someone who is gay. That becomes the big thing and I want people to see me for who I am rather than who I like, lke everyone does now.

    With most of my close guy friends we are very "gay acting". We'll call eachother sexy, beautiful, touch eachother (playing), and a bunch of other stuff. I know that if I tell them I'm not straight this will end. I don't have a crush on any of my guy friends, so I don't do this because I actually like them. It's just what we do. It's fun. =P

    I currently have a crush on one of my girl friends. It's an emotional attraction and I think she is beautiful, but I want to know if there is anything sexual behind it. She will probably be the first girl I "make a move on", but I'm waiting on this because another friend has a crush on me, and my crush and the girl crushing on me are best friends. I don't want any shit to happen cuz of me.

    In the end people will probably accept me, but the way we are will probably not be the same.

    That's it. Sorry it was long an everything was jumbled up I had a lot I need to get out. I just needed a place to vent. If you read it, thanks, and I'm sorry if I wasted 5 minutes of you life. ;P
    Why does sexuality have to be a complex thing for some. =p
     
  2. DexterMorgan

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    I was in the same situation as you.

    I ended up telling my friends first, and my family found out through them.

    The only person that hasn't really said anything to me is my sister in-law...she's talked about gays going to hell and all that before I came out.
     
  3. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    Experiment with your friends before your family!:slight_smile:
    You can do it~
     
  4. Jim1454

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    Sort of has an incestuous suggestion to it... :eek: But I know that's not what you meant.

    If you're considering coming out you've obviously thought about this for a while. So to think that you're not going to until you've been with a girl doesn't necessarily make sense. You're not going to suddenly be straight. At a minimum you're bi. So if it's bothering you, just go for it.

    At the same time, don't feel rushed into coming out. It's not a race. If you're not ready, then don't. If you want to try dating a girl, go for it. You're not really misleading her - you're genuinely not sure. It might be more fair for her to disclose to her at one point that you're at least 'questioning' your orientation. Hopefully she'll be understanding and supportive of that.

    Good luck. This is the right forum for working this stuff out.
     
  5. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    LOL
    "Incest is not the best."
     
  6. Alex19

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    take some time and think over it. its not something you can decide for sure on in a couple minutes. took me 17 yrs to come out myself... and im only 18! lol