I feel that I am ready to come out to everyone but my mom isn't. I need some help with explaining to my mom that im sick of living a lie and that it is just making me sad and depressed. She keeps telling me to hide it until I go to college and then I can do whatever I want to. I'm not willing to wait until then that's another 2 years away! Because prom is coming up she is trying to get me a girl for a date so she can keep her dream of her straight son alive. When I told her I wouldn't do that to someone, she told me i didn't love her because i wouldn't do that for her. She has tried many times to scare me into the closet. And if I try explain to her how I feel when she does this, she gets all offended and it just turns into "me not loving her and how she has always been there for me, and it could be alot worse". By then she just guilts me into just walking away and ending the conversation. I need some help with trying to deal with this behavior and how I should explain to her that I feel that I'm mentally and emotionally ready to come out to everyone. P.S: sorry for it being so long it kind of just flowed out of me.
That's not long at all, first of all. My posts are usually three times that. >_<) Now I ramble. But it sounds like your mom is the one who doesn't seem ready to come out and actually coming out right now may do a world of harm. My recommendation is wait until the end of HS. Or if you choose to come out, do so but hide it in front of your mothers friends, co-workers, and anyone she generally knows. And this is for your safety, and stability, not for hers. It would suck that your family or mother would fall apart due to her shame of you. You could try and educate her but it doesn't sound like it'd work. But then again, it is your life, not hers.
I would try to print out some PFLAG materials for her to read. When I came out to my parents I gave them the booklet "Our Daughter Or Sons" for them to read. It sounds like she may not understand at all about being gay. Have you told her that being gay is not a choice? It has nothing about not loving her its about being true to yourself.
Your mom is using a classic manipulation on you and it's as old as the road to Rome. Parents learned it from the kids and found out it works both ways. "If you really loved me, you'd give me a blow job" guilt trip. Sound familar? Don't bow down unless you intend to give the blow job..(sorry for the crudeness, but I had to paint to pic)
Well thank you for that disgusting imagery. Im going to do it regardless I have a strong support group and I feel that everything will be fine. I am just afraid to tell my mom thst because support group won't be around to help.
Aargh! Now I'm glad I don't live at home anymore. It will take me a week before I can look upon my own mother again. Curse you! :icon_wink I'd say this is a thing she cannot ask of you. It's sort of her asking you to live in a lie to prove you love her. That's a bit dysfunctional... On the other hand, you have to be understanding as well. She probably really fears for your well-being, and hopes that being closeted keeps you safer (possibly she still hopes you'll eventually realise it's all a phase anyway). Do you already have a date for the school prom? I ended up going to mine with a girl that didn't have a romantic date either. A marriage of convenience if there ever was one. In the end we ended up having a lot of fun anyway. And without a lot of the drama and wrong expectations that others seemed to run into...
well, you could tell the person your mum's setting you up with that you're gay? :lol: other than that, just tell her "I'm gay. I don't want to go out with a girl to the prom. I love you mum, but it is my prom, and I don't want to go with a girl.
I also want to come out, and if I am out i can start dating. But mostly i am just sick of living a lie.
Just come out at school or w/e but while at home keep it to a minimum. I highly doubt your mother supervises your daily activities and social life at school.
awww My mom is like this too. ): She's like DONT TELL ANYONE! And I still do. tell her "You should accept me for who I am. There's loads of worse kids then me. Would you rather I be straight and like them?" My mom considered me as a bad kid just for the gay thing. ._.
I've decided to wait because there is nothing really for me to gain from doing it. Also, I don't really know why I would do it. She made some really good points like how I could be doing it just becase my best friend Erin is graduating this year. Also, I think I just wanted it so I could date someone. She told me that if I was to find someone and start dating then she could see why I would do it.
Know how you feel. Haven't come out to my mother yet, but I've gone through all of these arguments in my head. There are things to gain though. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to come out so you can get a boyfriend. The thing is there shouldn't need to be a need to come out. But unless you do, it can be incredibly difficult to find other gay guys, at least where I live. It's a really tough decision to make... My advice is to weigh all of the benefits with the possible negative consequences. You also have to consider which of these "consequences" you would be facing even if you came out at a later date. I mean, if you're going to do it someday......anyway, best of luck. And I hope everything goes well for you.
