I don't know how I should come out but want too

Okay first calm down everything is going to be alright!!!
I guess you've already heard this plenty of times, but again: there is nothing wrong with being scared of people's reaction, even if they're your friends. If you've got to hide something for years or decades, you definitely won't feel very comfortable sharing it with others for the first few times you do it. Feeling a little weird when you're finally out is completely normal, but this feeling's going to fade away eventually. The more you come out the more comfortable you get.
There's always a chance that the person you come out to turns out to be homophobic. However, you have to be aware of the fact that right now, you're strongly influenced by your fear of rejection. In other words, you kind of tend to assume people to be homophobic. If you're sure that your friend you want to come out to is accepting and open-minded, chances are that your fears are, in fact, irrational. Trust me, people who appear to be LGBT-friendly don't usually freak out when they're facing an actual coming out.
Let me tell you, I was terrified at my first like three coming outs. It took me a lot of time and courage to say those words to one of my oldest friends, even though I was almost a 100% sure she already knew! (I was right, she knew months before I could finally tell her.) In fact, I came out to her through text. I wrote everything but it took like an hour to finally hit Send.
So, there's no need to feel stupid. All I can say, if you're fully comfortable with the thought of being out, that's the time when you should be brave and come out.

 

I am going through the same thing you are, in a way. I just got divorced. I am still living in the house with my wife as we try to sell it. We are still best of friends. Long story short, nothing will break us apart as friends, but me always being in hiding/denial, I have become an intense and sometimes very angry person because I have been so locked up.

I was never able to tell her why I was that way, so she understood it as me just not liking what I had with her anymore. Long story short again, we have an unspoken understanding after we went to therapy and I told her I had questions about my sexuality sometimes. I worded it in a way to soften the blow.

I brought up something from my childhood, which gave her a little more understanding that it wasn't because of her. I really think she thinks I'm either gay or bisexual at this point. She would think gay if she knew I dressed up in her clothes. Either way, I think I'm bi, leaning towards liking trans.

I like looking at myself in very sexy clothes and I look good in them, but I don't carry that out onto the street. I like being like that when I'm relaxed at home. It's just my thing, what can I say? Anywho...

What do you tell someone when you don't even know what it is you are trying to tell them in the first place? If you try to explain in full to someone what you are and how you feel and what you like; after all that, you have seriously weirded that person out and you have given WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

So, you are stuck at malfunction junction like I am. I am right at the cusp. I am sure everyone sees me as gay now. I have not been trying to hide it at all. I have my legs shaved, but mainly cover them up if anyone's around, but I don't go out of my way to hide it. I already show that I shave everything else. I am a walking Ken doll, smooth as can be. And I love it. People that have hair are missing out on how some fabrics really feel.

I sit with my legs crossed in a effeminate manner. Sometimes hold a limp wrist, but doing it in a fluid motion to make it only a question in someones mind. I guess this is my way of breaking everyone in gently.

I am so ready to come out, it's killing me. But, doing these little things are what satisfies me until that time arrives. Get yourself things that make you feel the way you feel when nobody else is around. Buy clothing you can look sexy in but can also disguise it for something else.

I bought thigh high socks and when questioned, I said it was for the winters because the cold where I work is brutal and I wear them in layers like this. That worked. I would buy long sexy shirts I could tie off with something and make look like a dress, and when questioned about it, I said I got the wrong size and threw away the receipt.

It's the simple things that get you through. Try it this way. You almost feel devious in a way while doing it. I feel so naughty sometimes. But in a very good way. Anyways, I hope I helped in some way.