I'm sick of falling just that little bit short in everything I do - except school work, it seem to be the only thing I'm good at but I'm sick of it being the only thing and everyone thinking I do so well at that but that I'm not able to do anything else. I'm sick of never getting a chance to do anything because everything seems to be taken on votes or the teachers get to decide who would be good at leadership roles at school and apparently I don't make the cut! This is my last year at high school at I really wanted to get involved in stuff but how can I do that went I get turned down for everything I put my name down for? I just don't think I'm good enough to do anything! I tried for head girl, nothing happened, I missed out on peer support, I don't get to be a peer tutor even though I'm the top student in my year, and now voting for class councilor I got a grand total of one vote! The only thing I've got to do is be part of SADD - Students Against Drunk Driving, and the ball committee but I barely get a say because noone thought I would be good enough to be in charge of these. I'm just sick of not being good enough and most of all I'm just sick of being gay because it makes everything so much harder but noone here gets how hard it is. I've got to the point where I hate myself and I just want it to all go away!
im so sorry!!! i wish i could give you a hug(*hug*) lol there. i dont really have any good advice, but i think u SHOULD NOT hate yourself. im sure you're good at a lot of stuff u just dont know it. lol. just try new things meet new people and help the best u can. if u cant do the things u want to do then try something else? idk im not very good at giving advice about getting involved in school cuz im horrible at it myself lol but (*hug*)
I know where you're coming from with this. Whenever you're refused the top spot even though you know you deserve it, it's a slap in the face, You just have to keep your inner strength strong. Don't let the opinions of others get you down. You always have to remember that you're a unique individual and that your talents and amazing qualities will serve their purpose in due time. Maybe right now it's difficult because people can't recognize you for how amazing you are, but that just shows their immaturity. Being gay, in my opinion, forces a lot of us to mature faster. We have to deal with the life that we were born with, and it's so unfair how hard it is. I just think that you're more mature than your peers and this causes them to be blind to how awesome you are. Always keep in mind that it doesn't matter if others can see your beauty, as long as you can.
It happens. Isn't there a QSA at your school? And don't forget that HS is mostly a popularity contest. It doesn't really matter if you're skilled or not if you aren't the prettiest, sexiest, and sometimes skankiest girl in school. Really, HS is so trivial once you move on into college. You'll see that for sure. Don't worry about it too much. I delivered and wrote the graduation speech, it was filmed and broadcasted across a few stations but I could barely give a rats ass, honestly. Why? Because it's actually pretty trivial. Wait until college, trust me. It's far better. And it's very, VERY accepting and supportive. Don't fret about making HS the best years of your life, they probably won't be considering all ahead of you.
Maybe you were trying to get involved in all those things just for the sake of getting involved? It just seems to me that when you take a shot at all those different activities and don't get into any of them, perhaps the people that did get involved had a real passion for them. What do you have a real passion for?!? Perhaps a dumb question, because I'm not sure I had a passion for much in highschool. But I must have demonstrated my interest and won the confidence of my peers because I was elected class president. But that was all I was interested in. I didn't play sports, I didn't do drama, I didn't do coaching... So demonstrate that you're really passionate about either SADD or the ball. Do a really "kick-ass job" of it (as Lex would say) and demonstrate that you have what it takes.
It very likely is the popularity contest and maybe has nothing to do with your abilities or desires. So what about outside high school? You could volunteer to help out at an organization. There, you will be appreciated more and it could give you some great satisfaction and get you more experience with life outside HS.
Hey (*hug*) I know it can be hard to stay confident when things keep knocking you down, but im sure you have many skills and talents, maybe you just havent found them all yet. Remember from little acorns grow might oak trees. Sometimes it just takes a while for them to establish their roots and flourish, you'll get there (*hug*)
Hi there! First off, even though things didn't turn out the way you thought they would, or you didn't get what you wanted to get involved in, there is no reason to hate yourself. Often things don't turn out the way you want them to, but even if one door closes another one opens. From the looks of it, you are part of SADD, and that is an important group because a lot of teens your age get killed in car accidents that could have been prevented easily. You are actually part of a group of people/teens that can make a difference in your school. Would you not agree that this is something important and perhaps worthwhile to be involved in? I would certainly think so. Jim hit on something very important. When you do sign up for things, remember that marks aren't everything. One important thing that teachers or those who make a decision as to who gets to do what or be involved in things, commitment and the demonstration of really wanting to do it and show passion for it (as Jim said) are as if not more important. When you sing up for something or someone asks you why you want to be involved (such as in peer support/peer tutor) you need to show them that there are specific and good reasons for wanting to do it, beyond "I think it looks good on my resume". You need to show them that you believe in it and that you can offer something. Being gay doesn't make things really harder. You can do and/or be involved in the things that you want to do. In fact, if you wanted to be part of the peer support team, being gay, is actually a plus because you can offer something that not a lot of people can offer! The same goes for colleges/universities. To get involved in things, especially in peer support and peer tutoring, you need to show that you believe in it and that you are doing this for your own personal development. I am sure you are good to do these things and things that you put your mind and heart to, but maybe you just have to take a closer look at how you are going about in getting involved.
We don't get a chance to say why we want to do it we just write our name down and then the teachers decide who they think would be good for it. And I do want to do some of this stuff for more reasons then It looks good, I've always loved school and up until lately high school has been the best part of my life so far ad it's helped me a lot and I really want to do what I can to give some of that back before I leave plus with things like peer tutoring I really do want to be able to help our other students plus the teachers who's class I'd be in. I guess I didn't exactly word that quite right it's just that being gay and my family hating it and my friends not getting it just adds to enough stress without adding anything else on top of it so right now it just feels like anything else is pushing me to breaking point because there is so much wrong already.
I can definitely identify with the way you feel. One example, ever since my first year of high school, I've been asking my Drama Teacher to let me design a set for one of the plays. And every time, she gives it to someone else (who can usually draw better than me), then this person doesn't get it done, and my drama teacher ends up designing it herself.... It's no fun, and you feel like you can't complain because THEY'RE the teacher or whoever. Whatever you feel passionate about, do it. That's all there is to it. I feel kind of guilty about what I'm about to do but I'm going to do it anyway. In order to inspire you I'm going to link you to a broadway song that's really picked me up when I felt like I just couldn't do anything I tried. And if you listen to the lyrics, it has some really good things to say. And hey, I can't help it, I'm a gay male... Here's a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DDdM66_nSI And this is the quote that stands out to me the most: "Why is it that if some dude walked up to me on the subway platform and said these things, I'd think he was a mentally ill asshole, but if the vampire inside my head says it, It's the voice of reason?" In fact, I think I'm going to make that my signature...
Hi there, Could you talk to the teacher who is in charge of peer tutoring for example, and ask if it is possible that they could include you in it because you want to give something back to the school given that your high school experience has been such a positive part of your life. If you can, give it a try. At the same time, if this does not work out, you are involved with another group (SADD), which in many ways fulfills your desire to give something back to your school. Not to take sides here, but if the teachers placed you in SADD, probably they thought you would be a good person for it. Yeah, it can disappointing that you didn't get into another group that you signed up for, but perhaps try not to lose sight of the fact that you can accomplish similar if not the same things by being part of this group. As said, this is actually a really important group. I am sorry to hear that your parents have a hard time coming around to accepting your sexuality. Sometimes, it can take a while for parents to accept it and understand it. Becky's out status says: 'parents have to come out too', which is absolutely true. Have you tried 'educating' your parents and provide them with some educational material so that they can see and learn that there is nothing wrong with being yourself. As for your friends, yes even for friends at times it can be a bit hard to understand it. What could help is keeping in contact with them and talking with them so that they can see that you are still the same person and that you still have the same qualities that you had before coming out to them. If you have a hard time with your friends and if you find it hard of receiving support and acceptance, maybe also try making some new friends as well. Is there a LGBT group in your school or community that you could join or be a part of? Being part of a support group could provide you with valuable support. I hope this helps a bit.
I can't really add too much to your thread.The others did a great job,already. I do like your avatar,though!
. I got into SADD because everyone who signs up for it gets in - we are a really small school so there is only like 50-60 people in my year. I have tried but they pretty much just threw everything back in my face, I came out to them about 1/2 a year ago and we haven't talked about it since that day, they still mention boys and stuff but I don't feel like I can bring it up again because I saw how much it hurt them last time and I don;t think i could go through that again. There's nothing where I live, we tried starting a GSA at school but it didn't happen because noone else was willing to help out and now that my other gay mate went overseas on a exchange this year I'm the only person that's out at school any way.
yea, if i try to give my parents info on the subject they disregard it and get upset and what not. so, i just dont tell them anything. you r not alone there...
