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So her homophobic mom found out about her/us...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by notquitebutch, Mar 2, 2009.

  1. notquitebutch

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    Ugh, horrible day.

    This morning my girlfriend told me her mom found out about her being bisexual, and about us dating. She got really, really mad and almost kicked her out, but didn't. Instead...

    ...she drove me, her, and our other friend to the mall. (We had plans yesterday but I assumed they were canceled because of this, so yeah) I had a really, really bad feeling about going in the car with her mom... but, I had no choice, since it's really snowy here and that was my only ride. It was as awkward as anyone would expect it to be, but what can you do.

    So we get to the mall, walk around a bit, and had a good time. We got our other friend's dad to give us a ride home, so thankfully I didn't have to see her mom again.

    But, when we got back to his house, her mom called and said she was coming to get her soon because she didn't trust her and made some other nasty comments. Which got her pretty upset and I don't know what to do now. (Her and my friend are best friends, so i left the room for a while so they could talk things out, but when I got back she just basically said she didn't want any of this to affect me or anything so I think that's good, right? She still wants this to work?)


    What do I do? I really want to be there, but it's hard to help someone if YOU'RE a major part of the problem... I just am totally lost. How do i comfort her? What's going to happen now? Ahhhh.
     
  2. ilovelife

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    I think the best thing is to just talk to her maybe and hope everything will work out okay. I think things will be fine sooner or later. It's probably just too soon for her mom to accept that her daughter is bisexual. I bet she'll come around. :]
     
  3. Alex19

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    yea, she just has to get used to it. its not like she has to worry about her daughter getting pregnant or anything. lol (i wish my parents would look at my being gay like that- they never have to worry about me getting some girl knocked up!)
     
  4. notquitebutch

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    Ahaha I know right? We can't get pregnant, shouldn't that be a major plus?

    I think we'll be ok. I got a txt from her pretty much saying nothing will change/she still likes me/we're ok. So I hope she's right. I just don't know what to do if this comes up again.
     
  5. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    Not to sound rude or anything but this is her problem. Just like coming out to your parents is yours. It's going to be a very difficult thing it sounds like for her mom to accept her sexuality. And if you try to intervene it sounds like she'd go on a wild tangent. And the last thing you want is an angry parent on a tirade as they're likely to go to yours and out you.
     
  6. Remington

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    You can offer her support, but from a distance. I would suggest talking to your parents about the situation, before her mom decides to spill the beans.

    You can't solve her problem because you are the problem--and vice-versa.

    Honesty with your wonderful authority figures is all you can do.
     
  7. SAGUY84

    SAGUY84 Guest

    Your first mistake is blaming yourself, Her mum is the problem, not your or her!
     
  8. BeautifulStranger

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    You're not the problem, first of all.

    People just need time. Your girlfriend needs to show her mom that she still can be trusted. When my mom found out that I liked boys (in a very embarassing and horrifying way, I might add) she stopped trusting me entirely. Over everything.
    I couldn't hang out with friends anymore... I couldn't be in the same room as another boy without her giving me suspicious looks...
    But she got over it.

    She now knows that I have a boyfriend who is a freshmen in college. So not only does she accept a boyfriend, she also accepts an age gap.
    That's a big thing, but it took 3 years or so.

    Your girlfriend's mom really just needs time. It's incredibly hard for her to wrap her mind around the concept that maybe she won't be a grandma, maybe she won't have a son-in-law, maybe her daughter won't live the typical American dream.
    Her idealistic future was just shattered and she needs time to rebuild. It's more than likely she'll come around.
     
  9. jangel

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    The only way to support her is by telling her how you feel both about her and how it makes to feel to see her upset! I mean her mom didn't ban her from seeing you and gave you a ride so that makes me a little hopeful that she may come around. (when I was your age my mother would have forbid me ever seeing you again). Your girlfriend obviously cares about you enough that she is willing to do this so be secure with that. You are not the problem the "idea" is the problem and if she truly is bi-sexual it was bound to come up eventually. Be there for her, be honest and i will hope it all works out for the best!-Jen