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ready to come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by hermine, Jun 3, 2016.

  1. hermine

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    theworld
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Hi, i was just wondering if anyone had any advice on becoming comfortable with my sexuality? All my close friends know and i am not planning on telling my fam until its absolutley necessary, but i really want stop pretending to be straight around people at school (if my fam some how finds out, oh well, i guess). i am not super keen on that whole paragraph explaining things i just wanna make a post to fb or something like "I'm actually so gay lmao" or something like that. Its just that every time that i go to write something, i get nervous and worried and i think "wait I'm probably not ready". Its been a year now and i want to be ready. How do i know when I'm ready? if anyone would be okay sharing their stories and what helped them be ready to tell the pubic, that would be super super helpful.
     
  2. A Seraphim Moon

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Johnson City, TN USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    :newcolor: Hi,Hi! :smilewave And congrats for having the courage to 'come out' to at least a few of your friends and the as well as the courage to join this site! So, I suppose I should say "Welcome!" also! :wink: It's awesome here and there are alot of very kind people. It's a very 'welcoming' as well homely feeling you get here at EC. :thumbsup:

    Give it time... Don't rush it! I know it can be frustrating, but come out on your own time and terms. And in your own way! :slight_smile: If you don't feel like a long paragraph or a long story... Even a long post that'll just rehash sad memories... Well, then by all means just say a simple phrase! "Guess what friends of FB I'm gay! And that is all I am going to say on the matter!"

    Sometimes, when you come out it is unexpected... Like, an accident or said in anger or getting caught. You could've wrote it on a note to someone and left where it could be read. So, many various things could happen. You couldn't stand it anymore and just scream it out, etc etc etc.

    I came out to my mother by accident. We were arguing over my brother and the way he acted including some of the very evil and hurtful things he had said concerning LGBT. What he said that spurned my anger that particular day was "All fa***ts need to have their head chopped off!" It ended up being that my mother and I were at a stand still, neither one of us wanting to budge or give an inch. I wasn't being understanding and just making a big deal out of nothing.

    To which I said, or rather screamed at the top of my lungs that I was gay and so I definitely couldn't understand how it could be ok for him to speak like especially about his own brother. Yea, not the best of my moments... But, it got the job done and it was out there. Couldn't take it back. It turned very awkward after that and our argument was over with both of us going to separate rooms. It worked out in the end, my mother and I were very close. She was accepted it and I think it just made us closer!

    My cousin (we'll call her Lynn)~that was a different scenario. I was very scared that she would judge me and had been going through alot at the time. I was very depressed. But, she always seemed to put me in a good mood and it helped me to forget about all the bad stuff. Let alone, my depression was alleviated while being in her presence. My sister had friend whom was very openly gay and ended up having a crush on me. I had been walking with Lynn and came upon his work. We went inside and spoke to him for a bit and then continued our walk.

    She ended up asking me if I knew about his crush. I told her that my sister had told me about it. Needless to say because of his crush and that I didn't have an issue with it. It got her suspicious and I hated lying to her anyway. So, I told her that I thought the reason it didn't bother me was because I was gay too. With that she hugged me and told me that it didn't bother her and had been waiting for a long time for me to tell her. She was happy that I had finally found myself and had accepted my sexuality. She hated seeing me suffer with coming to terms with my sexuality. Not to mention she happened to be the first person in my family that I told. She liked that! haha We've been close ever since.

    So, you see... Both were completely different scenarios. My cousin accepted before I came out to her and my mother took a few years to accept it. Coming out to my cousin was easy and my mother was out of anger. I sometimes wonder if I had FB back then if I would've just made it public in the way you mention. It would be a quick and easy way to do it, so to speak. Everyone knowing at once instead of having to go to each one separately!

    I guess do whatever feels right for you! :thumbsup: Good Luck! :slight_smile:
     
  3. hermine

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Thank you so much! I don't know why I am so scared to tell people and i think thats the reason why this is bothering me so much. Its not even like I'm worried about the whole "what if they don't accept me" thing bc the only people who's opinions i care about, already know. tbh i really just want to tell people so that i can meet girls easier, but its driving me crazy because i am so scared and i don't know why. But thank you for putting so much effort into your response! it really helped me :slight_smile:)