I'm gonna 100% frank here, I'm muslim, Asian mixed, and gay. In Indonesia, any orientation other than hetero is considered "mentally ill/handicapped/crime". And you might already know that homosexual is really a forbidden thing in ISLAM. I still pray but that doesn't change the fact that I'm gay. Some of my muslim friends somehow manage to come out to their family. But still, none of my friend knows that I'm gay. The worst part is coming out to family. I find it really frustating and terrifying, because my mom is extremely strict when it comes to religion. This is not a pro-LGBT country, that's being said, it doubles or even triples the difficulty. LGBT person in here is always treated lower than the lowest society. My mom told me that she used make up really OFTEN when she was pregnant, so it makes sense that I have feminime side. Even if I know it's not my fault, it still makes me depressed. I don't hate myself for being gay (gay is great, and I'm proud), but I do hate that I was born in Asia, especially in Indonesia which most of the people are Muslim. And you know what the worst thing is? It turns me on only to NON-ASIAN people. WOW! I said it. I feel like i'm the most insecure out of insecure people around the world. Maybe I'm stuck with the stereotype that Asians are "skinny". I do not know. Jackie Chan and Jet Lee are muscular, but that doesn't help. If I got to choose, I'd love to be atheist gay man in the US than muslim gay in Indonesia. And last but not least, I found myself gay when I was 8, so it's been years, decades. And I'm still not ready to speak, shoutout loud to myself that I'm a gay. Any advices appreciated. Thanks.
There are some resources on the Internet, if I am not mistaken, for LGBTQ Muslims. In 2006, a documentary was produced by Channel 4 in the U.K. simply entitled Gay Muslims, which chronicles the lives of some gay and lesbian Muslim men and women in Britain and their relationships with their family, themselves, and the conflict between their sexuality and their religion. There is another doc from 2007, A Jiihad for Love, which showcases one of the first openly-gay imams in the World: South African resident Muhsin Hendricks, who has been criticized by so many individual adherents to Islam including Islamic leaders; this doc also discusses the experience of LGBTQ Muslims in both the Islamic world and the West. The secret mosques opening their doors to gay Muslims - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) ^ That article was published by ABC Australia on April 28 of this year about how there are in fact quite a few openly-gay imams in the world today. I unfortunately do not live in Indonesia and I am not a Muslim, but just know that you are not alone, and that nothing is wrong with you as a human being because you are a gay man. If coming out to your parents and your community is of risk to your life, I would suggest putting it off until you can devise a plan to leave the area or the country itself for your own safety. In the meantime, keep posting on Empty Closets for support. I wish you luck and a safe life.
First, it is very brave that you have accepted that you are gay. You can't help your circumstances like where you live, but what you can control is how you feel about yourself. No matter what those around you do or say, it does not change that you are a valid and worthy human being. Your safety comes first though. If coming out to your family would be unsafe for you then you probably shouldn't. You can chose who you come out to and when. It certainly doesn't have to be everyone you know. Maybe you could talk to one of your friends who has come out to their families. I'm sure that would help a lot as long as they are trustworthy people. Also, it's ok to be attracted to whatever type of people you want! Everyone has their own preferences and you can't control them, just like liking certain foods and not liking others. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to people who aren't Asian. You are fine just the way you are. It doesn't matter how that compares to others. I hope this advice helps and that you consider talking to a friend if that is something you'd want to do. I wish you all the best.
Thanks for the fast responses :icon_bigg Thanks. I also thought about coming out right before I'm going elsewhere. Thank you. I'm afraid if I tell this with someone who knows my family, it will eventually spread. To be exact, Locking myself in the corner of the closet before I managed to move to another country might be the best option. Yes. I can see myself blending in with gay men around US in few upcoming years (hopefully), maybe 4 or 5 years. Then again, it is just based on presumption, since Asian and gay are minority, so that makes me minority of the minority people in the US.
You will never know if you don't try,I'm a gay witness theres only 8 million witnesses around the entire globe and probably less than 1% are gay so too im a minority of a minority..find suppotive friends ans i believe you would do just fine in the u.s
