Hi all, I'm new to this board and just feel so lost and overwhelmed that I didn't know where to turn, but I guess I'll give this a shot, if not to express my feelings, but to maybe get some good advice or words of support. I recently just came out to my family, and got the best response anyone could ever imagine. They told me they always knew and loved me no matter what, that I am their daughter and nothing will ever change that and how much they love me. Even so, I did not feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I did not feel happier and more relieved. Instead, I feel even more lost and sad, a bigger burden almost, and I just want to cry, and it's not crying tears of joy. I know I should be happy that I have gotten a reaction from my family that is amazing, but I just feel sad and confused. I keep repeating what I said to them over and over, and when I think about what I said, it makes me cry even more. I honestly don't know how to feel right now or what to do; I want to be able to feel free and able to be myself even more now but I don't feel that way. Is this common? Will things get better after time?
That didn't happen to me personally, but others on EC have said they felt that way, but they started to feel better after a while. You're probably still trying to process everything. Congratulations on coming out! ^^
What are you sad about? Also if you could go back in time, would you still come out to them like you did?
Maybe your issue is, that you assume deep inside of your family they are dissapointed even though they have always knew and said they accept you who you are. You should change your mindset. You have to trust your family, especially your parents. Many other fellow of LGBT people get kicked due to their coming out, and you have the best reaction anyone could wish for. I have a quote for you: "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." By Pain means that someone would likely have strange, odd feeling that is (probably) not true. "Suffering is optional." Your choice is either get rid of those thoughts or keep them. The choice is yours. To be honest, I'd love to have family such as yours. Anyway, best of luck and congrats for your pleasant coming out.
I felt really off after telling my best friend and I think it's just because even when you thought you've accepted your sexuality fully, when you tell people, especially your family, its suddenly so real and totally inescapable and any lingering bad feelings get pushed back up.
I got more depressed a few months after coming out because I feel so alone. I don't have lesbian friends that identify with myself, and some that I've met don't accept me because I came out late in life. They treat me like I'm not actually a lesbian. Yet, I don't fit into the straight world, even thought I'm accepted by friends and family. So, I understand.
I feel like this is what's gonna happen when I come out... You've spent so long carrying this burden and when you finally let it out and it's so anticlimactic, you feel like it was all for nothing and that nobody recognizes the inner struggle you've been experiencing. But you did it, you made it, and you deserve their love and support!
This is something that some people will go through when they come out. I went through this when I originally came out as being a lesbian (way before I came out as being transgender.) For me personally, I went through this because I felt almost violated because people now knew. This was something that I had tried to hide for a long time. So, it took me a long time to get used to the fact that some people knew, and that i did not have to hide that part of myself anymore around them. So, I would say to give it some time, and to try to explore your feelings. Sometimes, it just takes some time to be comfortable after coming out, and that is ok.
I was in a very similar situation to this about one or two months after I came out. In my personal situation, it was anxeity that people could still resent me for being gay and I was still afraid that I had dissapointed my mom even though she reassured me that it was okay. I found that focusing on things that could relieve anxiety like my hobbies helped me calm down and not be filled with regret.
