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Anybody who's in the closet

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TheOddBall, Jun 7, 2016.

  1. TheOddBall

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    So I'm in the closet and I'm so nervous about coming out. I feel like I never will. I'm out to only a few close friends and that's it. It gets aggravating and tiring lying to others. I come from a small religious redneck town sooo yeah but it isn't that bad it's just.... I still sometimes feel guilt even though I know I can't help it. Sometimes I feel like I haven't even fully accepted myself... Everybody assumes I'm straight even though I'm not and it makes it even harder. I'm 21 and still living at home but after I get this new job where I'll be making more than what I do now, I'm gon' save up and move out and I wanna come out then but I still don't think I ever will. I want my family to see the real me but idk. I'm not sure how the reactions would be and I get anxious just thinking about it. Being closeted for all these years(I've known since middle school) has made me a bit depressed. I wanna date but can't due to not being out.

    Is there anybody else who is currently in the closet and going through what I'm going through? I just thought it would be nice to have a friend who actually knows and understands what it's like and would have someone to talk to about it and not feel alone. I really don't know any other gay people in my town and I do, in fact, feel alone... A lot.
     
  2. HM03

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    I definitely understand. Im waiting until I move out too, and it often feels like I'm putting my life on hold for "someday"
     
  3. TheOddBall

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    Riiiight?! I felt like I've put my life on hold too. There's a lot of stuff I miss out on because of me being in the closet. I shouldn't put myself through it but ehh...
     
  4. IamI

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    So why not move out, start up a new life with your new job, and start living how you want to live and be how you want to be. Then after a while of feeling a bit of liberation, start bleeding in some of your family and friends who keep in touch more. Maybe post a few subtle things like *hint hint, nudge nudge* to get them warmed up.
     
  5. TheOddBall

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    Because I don't have the money right now. I haven't started at the new job just yet, I still have to take the Bat test next Tuesday, and I can't survive by myself with the pay from my current job but believe me, I'm moving as soon as I can. I won't move though until I take and pass the FDLE.. Cause if I fail 3 times, I lose my job, but I'm gonna make sure I do not fail it because I need and want this job. Sometime within the next 6-7weeks I will finally start but it could even be sooner than that. And that's probably the only way I can tell fhem(if I do). I was also thinking about just let them find out on their own.
     
  6. IamI

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    I hear ya.. Sorry I couldn't help. I'm trying to figure this out for myself as well.
     
  7. Just Call Me Ky

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    I am in the same position actually... religious parents, several reasons why I can't move out right now, one of which is the fact that I am still only 17, I am in the closet and want to know how my parents would react but also know that it would mean I would have to prepare myself for the definate lack of acceptance from my parents and grandparents... on both sides. Depression hit me hard and I was in a bad place and now I'm on medication and my parents still don't know what is going on with me but they suspect and ask me why I want short hair and my dad asked if I liked girls and I denied it... so sometimes I think they would be accepting but then again I hear them trash the LGBT community all the time. I am not coming out until I am moved out and in a committed relationship because, who knows, maybe I will end up loving a guy (slim chance but still a chance). And if I'm with a girl I can have her hold my hand and be there for me if my family doesn't want to see me. I just wish I knew exatly who I am so I can be that person.
     
  8. gnolka

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    I've been waiting until I graduate high school and go to college. I'm hoping that once I find a girlfriend, I can just casually introduce her to my family as my girlfriend. I'm really against the whole sit down, super serious, "I need to talk to you..... I'm gay..." thing. If you think your family will be accepting, then just be casual about it. When I came out to a friend I made a joke about it and said, "I'm about as straight as my hair" because my hair is super curly... It just makes it a lot easier for me and the other person involved.
     
  9. SecretLilCj21

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    If you want to date I see no reason as to why you don't just go out and date, you are twenty-one, your family can't control what you are doing 24/7, if you see a cute girl, go out and get her. Your family doesn't need to know that you are going on a date, if it eventually gets serious, then tell them that you really like her and you can come out, that is if you feel ready of course.
     
    #9 SecretLilCj21, Jun 9, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2016
  10. Angelica

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    Hey,
    I get what you're going thru. Having to live in secret is painful. I'm finally taking action and moving far away from my family. I have a lot of growing up to do. I'm willing to find a job even if it means menial labor for a while in order to find true happiness. I wish the same for you. All the love!
     
  11. IamI

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    This is exactly what I am doing.