My girlfriend and I are moving in with each other!! Yayaya! We payed first and last months' rent on Monday and we're going to move in 1 April! Oh my word, I can't believe it! It is beautiful - one bedroom, third story Century home, newly renovated. A little landing for bookshelves and shoes, coming up to a little kitchen with a little sink, and a little stove, and just for Amélie - a fire escape that she can go out and sit on and drink her morning coffee. And for me, windows in every direction! For all my plants. Sloping walls everywhere, and hardwood floors. Tiled bathroom and a big bedroom with a big window and two closets. Just a little piece of home. A little place we can call our own. A little refuge from the outside world. When we saw it, we knew instantly that this was the place for us. It has character, it has soul, it's just for us, and we're terrified. We're not sure what awaits us in a new life together. Living together. That's such a big deal. What if we don't make it? What if we end up fighting? What if it just doesn't work out? We'll have been together as a couple for almost a year when we move in, but best friends for two years before that. Do you think that's too early to move in together? Does anybody have any advice for good relations when moving in with someone? How can you give your relationship the best chance at succeeding?
If you don't make it? What? This isn't survivor. lol You'll be fine. It's too soon to think about that now. And if conflicts arise, that too is part of a relationship. They don't alwaysy make you separate, sometimes they bring you closer. You might want to set up boundaries early on though. And get any thing like wanting pets or dos/donts aside first.
Heh....i dont know if this will help any... But im watch "Queer as Folk" and the same thing just came up. Two characters were best friends, started to date, and then decided to move in with eachother However, the show is HIGHLY fictional and not at all like real life (pfft, 95% of the characters are gay) but still has some good lessons! Its going to be weird living with another person after you have been so self dependent for awhile (im assuming here atleast) so just remember that its all about compromise. You have to find middle ground Your two different people who have two different ideas for what you want out of the place im sure. Alot of communication is key! Im sure you both love each other deeply though, or you wouldent be doing this, so just rest on that. You love her, she loves you, and that can get you through alot of rough patches. Good luck love! (*hug*) Congrats on the new place! I send lots of virtual housewarming gifts! (Oooo muffin baskets!)
You'll totally be fine. If you two have known each other as both best friends and girlfriends then there's probably not much else to learn. After 3 years of being together you have already learned how to handle each other. This is a big step, yes, and that's not to say there may not be some rough patches. But you two are strong and you'll be just perfect. Congratulations!
Hi there! It is great that you are taking this step. Hope all goes well with the move! You have known her for some time, and most likely have learned a lot about her and she about you, which should definitely help. Be mindful of the fact that there is going to be bit of an 'adjustment period' and you (and your girlfriend) will have to get used to the new situation and surroundings. When you move in with someone, and as it is the case with friendships, relationships, etc...there needs to be a certain amount of give and take and consideration for the other person. Often coordinating things with your partner and talking about things and not hiding anything will do the trick for making living together fun and lasting, and for your relationship to succeed. If something doesn't work or you see that there is something that bothers you while living with your partner, it would be good if you would bring it up asap with your partner. Don't leave things aside even if you feel it wouldn't be good to bring it up or you fear that it could sour the experience. Not talking about things could make it worse in the end. Honesty and openness from the beginning will go along way in making it work.
It is evident that you're getting ahead of yourself and worrying about something that has yet to happen; focus on the here and the now. Considering that you and your partner have made a commitment to move in together and have settled that this is what you want, then you are ready to live a life together, otherwise, either she or you would not have agreed to this in the first place. In other words, you two should not worry about if your relationship has lasted long enough. Moreover, as stated before, living together is about commitment and, if you two are able to find a common ground of most of your decisions (all would be a miracle, an achievable miracle), then you will learn that any speed bump is just a small challenge to prove to you that your bond is strong enough to withstand any incoming burden. Although petty squabbles will arise between you (it is an inevitable fact of life), you girls will be able to overcome it. (*hug*) I wish you the best of luck.
I think you've known each other well enough that you two will live fine together... I do suggest having a talk about how things would go down if there were a separation, but enjoy the excitement and contentment too! Worrying always causes drama.
The house sounds so cool! Congratulations! You'll be fine just as long as you remember not to take eachother for granted and communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and upsets before they are allowed to fester and get big. Good luck!
that's so awesome! your place sounds great. I have a lot of experience of living in a close space with female friends (not girlfriends unfortunately! ha ha) and the most important thing for not getting on each others nerves is communication. if you don;t tell some one that something is bothering you then they can't be expected to know. little things can become irritating after a while esp if you're tired or stressed for other reasons. letting things build up is such a bad idea, coz if they finally come out then they are way out of proportion! but for the moment just enjoy sharing a space with someone you care about. ultimately it'll make you two closer...
I agree completely. Communicate. The only thing I'd add - pick your 'battles'. If something bugs you, decide if it really does need to bug you before communicating it. Could you simply accept it (not put up with it but accept it) instead? Like how to put the toilet paper on the holder. Or how you like your socks and underwear folded. Or whether the toilet seat should be left up or down. (Guess that won't be an issue. :icon_wink) I think it sounds absolutely wonderful. Just keep talking.
Yes. Communicate. With everything. Secondly, if at all possible, find yourself a little "me space". Hers can be the fire escape, but you might want your own little spot, too. Sometimes, you might want a bit of "me time", and it's nice to have separate corners to go to when that happens. Lex
Aww, Thanks so much for all your advice! There seems to be a similar vein of advice going through here - communication, and having your own space seems like applicable. Oh, man, I'm so excited! We're looking for furniture online, and telling all our friends and families. Right now, she's playing "More than a feeling" by Boston on the guitar, and then we're going to the Vagina Monologues! Life is looking so awesome right now! Liz.:icon_bigg
