Hey Guys n Gals, Just posting because i don't feel incredably good really.... Like its werid because i shouldn't really complain unless you count money problems in which case i could go on for hours, its just not that though. I suppose i feel mildly loney because the guy i love is in the next state up and i can't see him again untill the 25'th of this month... i do miss him HEAPS but apart from the missing him, things are going really strong. I guess it dosn't help that the last week my best friend meli has kidnapped me and we hav been doing all this stuff and a lot of drinking HAHAHAH but today i just feel like absolute crap, tired and definatly depressed. I have no idea what i can do to make myself feel better, just feel a little stuck is all, maybe i'm bored with my life? i've considered moving to NSW if things continue to go well with Jamie because at least there will be a bit of a change. though i can't even do that because i'm doing year 12 this year.. which isn't going well eather me and meli skip quite a few classes because we can feel down. (she's got bipolar n me depression) Another problem is that with all this downess i'm thinking of anyway to feel better so i've been smoking (which i never did) and drinking heaps n heaps n heaps like not enough to get drunk every night but over the course a fair bit. and between you guys and me i've even considered taking drugs at one VERY low point i had a couple of months ago but i desided it wasn't worth it rili. In short i'm very tired, broke , bored , and missing my love oh and stuck at school which i'm stressing over. Not sure what advice you guys can give but i just felt like venting. Love ya xoxoxo.
try to cut the booze if you can ,although you feel ok for a short while , it makes the deppressive episode worse . just my own experience though
Well... take a hard look at what you're doing. You're stressed about school, so you're skipping classes, smoking and drinking. Does that make you feel more stressed, or less stressed in the long run? I'm guessing more. You're broke, but you're smoking and drinking. Does that make you more broke, or less broke? More broke. You're tired, but you're out drinking and smoking. Does that make you more tired, or less tired? More tired. I really worry when I hear someone talk about drinking (or doing drugs, or something else) to avoid the reality that they don't like. That's essentially how addictions develop. When the addict feels down or wants to avoid something uncomfortable or unpleasant, they 'medicate' themselves with their 'drug' of choice. I'm really worried that you've turned to alcohol to do that. And perhaps you are a little worried too by posting about it here. It is absolutely within your control to change the direction that you're taking. Stop skipping classes. Do your homework. Stop drinking. Get an adequate amount of rest. Don't get me wrong. I know how difficult it is to do the 'right' thing when you're feeling down and depressed. I've 'been there, done that'. But it's not an excuse. If you really don't think you can function due to your depression, then deal with the depression. Talk to your doctor. Talk to your parents. Get some help on that front - and everything else will get easier. The position you're in now won't last forever. (i.e. being in school, living apart from your bf) But you won't move on as quickly to the next phase of your life if you don't manage to finish high school. Set some short term goals and 'keep your eye on the prize' so to speak. If you want to chat one on one - send me a PM. I'm concerned and want to help.
It's good to vent irregardless of the situation. It helps you relieve stress and finally get things out of your system. It makes you healthier and better all around. Though don't do drugs or drown in booze to fix your problems as they won't. Ever. The day my friend Daryl died I tried to test my limits with alcohol and let me tell you, it's not a pretty sight. I had experienced the worst feeling the next day and no it wasn't a hang over. Far worst. I felt full all day long yet starved at the same time. It's undescribable unless you've felt it too. It's a very deep and strong pain. Drugs aren't going to help you either. It's not going to change the truth of what happened and no amount of hallucinogens can do that. Because they create illusions of grandeur that you'll inevitably wake up from. And they cost money, fuck your body up, and can change you for the worst. The best advice I can give is just to wait it out. It's probably hard to be away from the one you love the most but he is coming back and I doubt he'd want to see you down. It's not like he dumped you or anything, he's just gone. He's bound to return. Just be patient and don't drown in misery. Besides all that stuff costs money! Especially smoking. If you pick it up you'll be investing in your own death. It's a terrible habit and being in the health field definitely makes you learn a thing or two about smoking. There is no benefit to it at all. It stains your teeth, makes your breath gross, makes your clothes, house, car, ect smell, and it does more damage to others than yourself. Have a wonderful day and don't hesitate to come to my wall and talk.
Both Jim and Enigma have give the best advice. Don't get addicted to those things. Like what Enigma has said, your boyfriend wouldn't want to see you in a horrible state when he gets back. Since things are going strong between the both of you, I assume both of you communicate daily. If not, try calling him and tell him how you feel. I know I would talk to my boyfriend whenever I can if he's depressed. In the meantime, you may want to plan something special for the both of you when he returns and take control of your life. -Sean
