ranting and need advice/ anybody else gone through this?

So I am a person who is in a really accepting environment a lot of my friends are queer my family is cool with everything and a lot of friends from high school have been supportive. I came out to my best friend when I was 17 and my parents when I was 18 and 19 they have all been loving. I feel like my best friend is the only one who I have genuinely come out to in the sense that she's the only one who never made me feel like I was pushed into a corner (figuratively) and asked if I was queer.
I have acknowledged it in myself but I don't think I have completely come to terms with accepting it because I usually freeze up at the question and usually lie or get defensive and I can't seem to bring myself to do it and it's starting to drive me insane because this is the only way I have significantly f'd up my life.I can't stand the fact that I still feel as if I need to keep this part of myself hidden from everyone, I feel like my world is so small and the world is truly bigger than what I make it out to be and the only thing really preventing me from experiencing it is the fact that I am afraid to even say queer (I sure as hell hint at it) and be happy confident and proud to say it. Just any advice or people who have been in a similar situation would be very much appreciated.:bang::bang::bang: