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Who should I come out to first?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by PinkButch, Jun 9, 2016.

  1. PinkButch

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm a closeted lesbian, and I think I've finally accepted my orientation enough to come out to a few people. I feel like screaming "I'M GAY" to the boys that hit on me, or whenever someone thinks I have a crush on a guy. Yuck.

    I have two very close friends, but at the moment they're at odds with each other. One of them was gossiping about us to a different group of people, and the other called her fake. Yikes. I don't think it's the right time to come out to them. I know they'd be accepting, but to be honest, they're both kind of blabbermouths, so idk.

    I am lucky enough to have a lovely, LGBT-friendly mother. I tested the waters the other day by asking her about LGBT social issues, and she was adamantly for same-sex marriage (illegal in Australia :/) and trans bathroom freedom. I also have a lesbian cousin that she loves dearly. I don't know if I should tell her first, though. I don't want her keeping me home from sleepovers because of my orientation.

    There are a few other friends that I have that would most certainly be LGBT-friendly, and they take secrets to the grave. I feel like it would be a betrayal to my best friends to tell them first, though.

    What do you all think? I'm new here (obviously) and I just wanna say that from what I've seen, this is a really great community :slight_smile:
     
  2. Hatsune Miku

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    imo it doesn't sound like you necessarily need to "come out." just tell people you're gay whenever it's actually relevant to a conversation or event that's happening (such as when a guy flirts with you)
     
  3. Alexrocks1253

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    Tell your close friends and family. They'll love you no matter what.
     
  4. anthracite

    anthracite Guest

    You should come out to your mother first. And according to the sleepovers: This is pretty irrational :wink: What could happen? It's not like you'd start something with guys and suddenly are pregnant.
     
  5. kibou97

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    In this situation, I would say either try and come out to your mother first or wait for your best friends to stop arguing. I'd normally suggest to come out to friends first as then you could have a bit of a safety net in the event something went wrong when coming out to other people but if your mother is that accepting of lgbt issues, I can't see why you shouldnt come out to her.
     
  6. Christine

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    I agree, have a net to fall back on, and open up with your (closest) friends. Then I would say to open up to your mother (Soon!)
    For me I have to have my mother to understand. That is a leap that's taking too long for me.
     
  7. PinkButch

    Regular Member

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    Thank you for the replies! Due to recent events, I haven't been online much lately... I've thought about this a lot and decided to just come out to people I trust when the topic comes up.

    The reason I mentioned sleepovers is because Mum doesn't let me sleepover with boys (she assumes I'm straight). I've heard it happen, but I'm glad to hear it's more or less irrational.
     
    #7 PinkButch, Jun 14, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2016